Basically my life story is:
>Very brilliant and curious kid, obsessed with insects, decent number of friends both male and female, but dislike of sport and the like
>Obsessed with transformation stuff in medias as well as gender bender
>In early teenagehood, no interest in having sex with women, rather attraction to them romantically, like some kind of archetype
>I quickly realize my only real sexuality is imagining I become a woman
>At puberty, start disliking my body through I don't get why
>In high school become increasingly isolated and isolate myself in my dreams
>I start getting really into female characters, but can't imagine fucking them, rather I imagine being them
>I start LARPing as a girl online around 16 year old
>Then I start LARPing as a TERF
>I stop for a month and get immediately sucked in again , this time in anime
>Only like yuri and stuff with only little girl, self insert as them
>My dislike for my male body gets stronger and stronger
>I discover I have dysphoria and am probably a troon and AGP, I consider taking HRT briefly at 19, but decide against it because my dad would kill me and I'm afraid
>Repress for 5 years, mostly getting into far right stuff and depersonalizing
>Finally I crack at 24, tell my dad, and get on HRT
I know IWNBAW
I know I will never even look like one
HRT is a palliative treatment for my gender dysphoria to prevent me from an hero.
I live as a man, I am indistinguishable from any masculine man despite being on HRT.
But I have breasts so it's nice.