I'm obsessed with reality, truth or whatever you'd want to call it. This means I have spent a ton of my free time studying all subjects I deem important. This obsession also means I've jumped into the abyss to see the worst humanity has to offer. Since I was 12-13 I started to watch gore videos not only because I was curious about how harsh the real world is but also to get thicker skin. Over about 3 years I was able to watch every single video on BestGore and I kept up with the videos until the end. I've also watched gore on other sites and kept looking for worse and worse videos. Over these years I got much thicker skin and was redpilled on a lot of topics. I started losing my emotions, the first ones to go were emotions such as sadness and happiness, until I was about 19 where I could only feel hate/anger, fear and disgust. This wasn't so bad because I could use hate as motivation. I used it to go to the gym, to study and pretty much anything productive. The problem now is I can barely feel hate or fear anymore. This means I have almost no motivation to do anything. I know there are others on here like me, what did you do to gain back some motivation? Or if possible some emotions? And no, I'm not depressed.
I also want to know if it's just me that's fucked or if it's the process that does this.