I'm 32 working on myself, my background is overall healthy. After my serious and last relationship which ended in a catastrophe i was kinda forced to review my priorities in life, which by then consisted in a strong desire to put up a family. I still want to do it but I'm accepting the chance it will never happen for the reasons we all know.

Here's the problem though, i opened up my mind a little bit in the last 2 years (covid and jab experience, women, politics, economics, reading about stuff even though i hate doomposting etc.) and i was already very right leaning and 'redpilled' before the term existed.

So in those 2 years i mastered those 3 simple tricks:

- wake up early - do easy stuff execercises just to stimolate blood circulation and keep my muscle active - no alchool, quit smoking, no weed, drugs, barely any coffee etc.

- very important and it wasn't easy at all: completely quit porn. Regularly go through no fap with a 15/20/25 days maximum cycles (if i can, i have sex once, if no women, i just do it without porn)

- the thing tha changed me the most together with stopping being a pussy slave: read a lot of books. Like, really a lot, politics, classic, philosphy etc. and totaly dropping tv series, anime, shitty movies and media in general as a natural outcome.

Yeah, so, the problem is this.

It's like something hard wired in my brain took a complete different direction. And since i'm beginning to get closer to social cyrcles and women again, although slowly as I don't want to be dependant, i've noticed i'm more detached than i've ever been my whole life.

Has anyone been through this? You just quit sociality overall or you kinda put up a mask because as a human being you need warmht and friendhisp? I seriously need advices on this as i'm sure some people here had similar experiences. Am I just learning to be alone - or, *getting used* to it without realizing, foreclosing the future me from having relationships?