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i used to like doing level design and thought of getting into 3d in general but
exposure to actual audiences for my work made me not want to do it anymore and now even tools i used to enjoy make me upset and sad and angry to even open
i never even completed anything, but the couple of times someone was like "this shows potential; how about you do x" every time I'd report back with some progress on it they'd shit all over it and then tell me to go back and do it more, like an abusive spouse that beats their wife/husband and then yells at them that its their fault and to just get it right next time
in the end, like an abused spouse, I smartened up and left the game.
it's all shit in all related fields. i briefly considered going back to school for either industrial design or architecture, but after hearing from people that most techy types are that awful, fuck it, I'm staying as far away from those fields as possible even though I love them. buildings and daily objects and ui and ux are all art but all artists in those fields are foul people, all end users are garbage human beings, and it is absolutely not worth it to do anything I love if it's going to be bogged down by exposure to those people
even just hanging out with friends and acquaintances who do programming or whatever, they'd be like this, and even with only tangentially related subjects
like, one time, my buddy invited me over specifically to play with gamemaker. that was what he proposed we do. like an idiot, I said sure. at some point he had some function going to keep a number in a certain range, so I say
>hey surely there's a function to clamp stuff. or at least floor and ceil. it has to be faster and simpler than nesting if-thens.
and he insisted for like a full hour that no such thing exists. we end up finally looking it up, and there it is, right in the documentation, floor, ceil, and clamp. nigga still somehow maintains I'm wrong about it though
fuck im upset now
