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I passed out on the hill once and i woke up sun burnred. i told my family i was walking along the beach. no one knows i starve and dehydrate myself to death on my trekks. it has only made me stronger interesting enough. i keep thinking i am weak but then i see just how fucking fragile so many little civiised fuckers are. i dont know what i learned during those training days. i dont feel part of the gentrified world.