Random Greentext thread
I'll start
>Be me
>Amerifag
>Go to Italy
>At pizza restaurant
>Have to shit
>Go to restroom
>Toilet is out of order
>See bidet
>I had no idea what a bidet was before this
>Assumed it was one of those toilets that you have to squat to use like in Asia
>Slap asscheeks onto cold ceramic bowl
>Release the Kraken
>Lay glorious 10 inch turd
>See drain at bottom of bowl
>Assume it was what Eurofags did with their toilets
>Attempt to pull it without touching my shit
>While attempting to pull the plug, I hit the lever that makes the bidet squirt water in your butthole
>Scares the everloving fuck out of me
>Felt like a finger went up my anus
>Jump up and run out of the bathroom
>Get back to my group of Amerifags
>See janitor walk into bathroom
>sees my shit
>Janitor's face when
>Sees me looking at him nervously
>He knows I did it
>Starts yelling structureless profanity at me, some in english, some in Italian
>"STUPID MOTHERFUCKING SHIT FUCK! PORCA MISERIA TUA MADRE FOTTUTA!"
>Everyone in restaurant staring at me
>Wanted to die
>Get kicked out of restaurant
Honestly, my own stupidity amazes me
