>>18844301You can get over your relationship handicaps by learning how to set up strong boundaries. Anglos have this saying that « Good fences make good neighbors » and this will be of help to you. Find exactly what you want and set your boundaries in a realistic way. Once boundaries are set, you can think what you can and what you cannot concede/adapt to others, but never, NEVER allow someone to bend you because you seem to have had this "melding"-style parenting that simply killed you with unrealistic expectations, bad boundary setting and stupid "parenting games".
You seem to be like me - you try to please people by sacrificing your freedom. You honestly thought that going against the grain would make your parents' silly games stop, am I right?
Don't please people, it'll only hurt you bro because 80% people are about silly social games with nothing of value in their hearts.
>>18844307I am okay.
The hardest part was talking to my family and saying we could no longer make communication, boundary and expectation setting mistakes because we had too much at stake at that point.
Also, please learn Dutch-style communication, bro. It's helpful.
Boomer world was a world of plenty, so indirect communication was okay. Now, it isn't.
