It's my gf's birthday, and I couldnt manage to have my present for her arrive in time...its gonna be ten days late.

I was acting cheerful in text, trying to be positive on a day that I thought she would be happy to have.

But...the wya she's talking about it, how it's just another day with the number going up, it...hit me like a truck.

I feel like crap, I'm tearing up typing this on my phone, I havent been sleeping, and I just worry about her well being day in and day out...

I genuinely love her. And, it's to the point where I dont even really register much sexually.

I want her to have a wonderful birthday, and, I asked her to, spend time with people she cares about, and to try to have fun.

And I'm now just up at 230 in the morning, watching snowpiercer, talking to a femcel, when I'm too struggling...I just wanna be by her side...

Aly, if you see this, I...want you to know that, you mean the world to me. I say I love you a lot, and often, and I mean it every time...

Neither of us are perfect, but I want to be yours...you've called me yours, said, "mine" of me, but, I want you to know that, I truly do love you. Please, have a happy birthday...and may your wish come true...

Love, Magnus