In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only war. You are part of the Imperial Guard, the hammer of the Imperium. A guardsman's life is to die, and your superiors have sent you to die in /bant/anus. This planet can be described as the most Emperor-forsaken shithole in the galaxy.
An Ork incursion has forced the local Planetary Defence Force to call for assistance from the Imperial Guard. Your platoon is one of many ordered to take a trench and hold the line. Fortunately, holding the line is what the Imperial Guard do best; the Commissar with his bolt pistol trained at the back of your heads will ensure that...
A far greater threat looms in orbit, however. A long-forgotten Xenos race with advanced weaponry also seeks to claim the /bant/anus as their own. What could they possibly want? Find out in this episode of Arume Survival: Only War Edition!
Rolling will now be done on our Discord, which can be found here:
https://discord dot gg/3rNC2x
If you are not in the discord, then the GM will roll in your stead. This is to prevent people using the catalog to cheat.
Depending on the difficulty of the roll, you will be required to get a number under 50. Dubs will count as an automatic success. You can reroll a failed test twice per session, but feats of heroism, bravery and good RP may increase that cap. If you die, you must wait until next thread, so don't act rashly.
Ready? Let's go
(Hopefully, with the schedule in place Only War will be on Wednesdays, alternating between myself and another GM. Dark Heresy will be done on the discord only, unless stated otherwise.)
Game Master
Archives
Episode 1:
https://archive.nyafuu.org/bant/thread/1499403/#q1499403 Episode 2:
https://archive.nyafuu.org/bant/thread/1509706/#q1509706 Episode 3:
https://archive.nyafuu.org/bant/thread/1587724/#q1587724 Episode 4:
https://archive.nyafuu.org/bant/thread/1741284/#q1741284 In the last episode, the remainder of the loyalist Fuck-Ups did their best to console the Loli Commissar, who had been taking up residence in the Green Space Marines' bar and punching the teeth out of anyone who had attempted to remove her. Privates Jim and Dan, fed up with Loli Commisar's antics and general lack of motivation dragged her out and dumped a watering trough on her to sober her up.
Meanwhile, Noobsius and Hammond tried to liaise with the Arume after discovering the Space Marine (Not Ork!) encampment. After tense negotiations, they were admitted into the base to be interrogated.
The arrival of the Tau Empire on /bant/anus had brought new info pertaining to the Tau's attempt to integrate the Arume into the fold. Shas'O R'ala himself had come to negotiate an alliance with the imperials for the Greater Good.
You have 15 minutes before the thread officially begins.
Corporal Hammond
Pvt.Jim
Quoted By:
>>1890599 >Reporting for duty. Noobsiuss
Elror
Quoted By:
>>1890599 reporting in, cyka
Game Master
Shas'O R'ala emerges from his battlesuit to address the imperials (Not you, Noob and Hammond.)
Anonymous
Hello il join but what is this about gm rolling for me?
Ragnhall
>>1890840 It doesn't matter. I'll bash their skulls in with my axe
Corporal Hammond
>>1890840 ''What do you want from us?''
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>1890880 does a palendrome count as a good thing?
Game Master
Quoted By:
>>1890857 (I use a bot on the Discord server to roll for numbers. We used to use post numbers to roll, but people cheated using the catalog lol. The link to the Discord server is in the OP. Just remove the spaces and replace 'dot' with '.')
Noobsiuss
>>1890840 "well... we know they stand because we were with them... i mean they are pretty big..."
Game Master
Quoted By:
>>1890880 >>1890887 (We don't use post numbers for rolling anymore. At least, not in my threads. Join the Discord server to roll for yourself.)
Pvt.Jim
>>1890840 "Ok I can see where you are coming from,but can you tell us a bit more?"
Corporal Hammond
Quoted By:
>>1890840 ''Well we know they're armed,They've got good weapons,they're big and they're green''
Anonymous
What's the actual server called?
Ragnhall
Noobsiuss
Game Master
>>1890874 >>1890895 The Arume's scowl softens somewhat.
"It is true that since you have lived that there may be some imperial holdouts. What makes them such a threat that the death squads won't mop them up?"
>>1890865 >>1890909 Shas'O R'ala chuckles at Ragnhall's boisterous remark.
"You are enthusiastic. That is admirable. As for more information, We are most certain that the Arume are mostly clones, as their appearances are almost completely identical to one another. Their origins, I myself am wondering; Perhaps they were a race that was lost to what you Gue'la call "The Warp" as we were. In short, for all we know, they might have come from nowhere."
Corporal Hammond
>>1890979 ''They're strong and they're mutated,it enhances their combat capability,they are dangerous''
Noobsiuss
>>1890979 >>1891002 i stare at her blankly "also because... i don't know. you guys suck at fighting... when we fought against you guys, we defeated you so quick that i didn't even get to participate..."
Ragnhall
>>1890979 If they're from a warp, there should be a way to disable it, and purge the imperium from these..arume once and for all
Pvt.Jim
>>1890979 "Lost to the warp...is it possible that some folks can be lost to the warp today?"
Game Master
>>1891002 >>1891008 "So... the humans have genetic engineering capabilities. I have heard of this."
She slumps back after Noob's remark.
"Yes, and I have the scars to back up your tale," she retorts. "An awfully stubborn bunch, they were. Irregular tactics inconsistent with usual imperial military doctrine. I will get my revenge on them in time."
>>1891009 >>1891032 "From what we know of the warp, entire planets are blocked off from the rest of the material universe due to warp storms. Some floating wrecks that you call "Space Hulks" also appear and disappear regularly. What we do know is that they are here to stay unless we can either get them to see reason or eradicate them. I hope it does not come to the latter..."
Corporal Hammond
>>1891080 ''So are you gonna accept us? or are you going to turn away precious help?''
Ragnhall
>>1891080 If worst comes to worst, I might have to use this, *gestures towards axe* but it's not as though I'm not a competent diplomat. Any customs we should be aware of?
Game Master
>>1890929 >>1890940 >>1890948 (You can copy and paste 3rNC2x into the discord app if I recall correctly.)
Ragnhall
Quoted By:
>>1891104 but don't forget the url
Noobsiuss
>>1891080 "i also asked for their coordinates before i left, i'm willing to share... for a price..."
Pvt.Jim
>>1891080 "I'm fully prepared for the second option. I'll give my life before seeing the Imperium lose a planet. Do you have any other information,like the size of there force?"
Game Master
>>1891095 >>1891151 "Very well. Tell us what you know and we will verify it. Your Reward will be that you live to see another day, human."
>>1891097 >>1891152 Shas'O R'ala sighs.
"We are well versed in dealing with you Gue'la. Someone of the Water Caste will be handling diplomatic relations with the Arume, however. I am but a warrior."
"They have stolen one of our ships and have made at least four bases in strategic points on the planet. Thankfully, they are unable to operate our battle suits, but there have been quite a few skimmers stolen from us. They've managed to steal and replicate our pulse weapons. They have a longer effective range and are more devastating than your lasguns."
Ragnhall
>>1891202 give me an axe, and some armor, and I'll cut swathes through them like the pirates of old. the armor does protect against pulse, correct?
Gyro
Noobsiuss
>>1891202 "nope... i want a better reward..."
Pvt.Jim
>>1891202 "Just one more thing? Say by chance that a friend was taken by The Warp. Is there a way to return them to what they use to be?"
>Look at the commisar Corporal Hammond
>>1891202 ''The humans are using Orks to fight for them,they are genetically modified and way stronger,your guns will go off like pellets on then,you gotta use strategy to kill them,we are against an powerful foe''
''I Will serve the arume as they please''
Corporal Hammond
>>1891244 >Look to noob ''Shut up our lives are at risk here''
Noobsiuss
>>1891262 cross my arms "nope"
Corporal Hammond
>>1891279 ''You'll get us all killed''
Noobsiuss
Quoted By:
>>1891307 "i think not. we have valuable info for them."
Game Master
>>1891244 >>1891258 >>1891262 >>1891279 >>1891307 "Fine then. You will receive the greatest reward that someone of your standing deserves if you wish to fight alongside us. Now stand by while we verify your claims."
>>1891221 >>1891240 >>1891256 "Unfortunately, Tau cannot engage in melee as efficiently as you Gue'la. We rely on our superiority at range to wage war. You may have some armour that we gift to the Gue'vesa and a pulse pistol. It is much stronger than any other that the imperium produces. As for the warp, I'm afraid that we know no more than you do, Gue'la. I am sorry."
Corporal Hammond
>>1891353 ''Alright,we'll wait''
Gyro
>>1891353 'Who the hell are you people?'
>I ask Ragnhall
>>1891353 It's all right. I always bring my own axe from home, but it would have been cool to have a pulse axe. I'll take you up on both.
Noobsiuss
>>1891353 "ok, if you want me to fight with you, i need a bunch of remotely detonated bombs. preferably one small enough that i can fit in my pocket. something like c4."
Pvt.Jim
>>1891353 "Well shit."
>Sigh "So what's our first plan of action?"
Ragnhall
Quoted By:
>>1891371 I'm Ragnhall, a Swedish mercenary
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp ID:YADJhAiU Thu 24 Aug 2017 00:32:13 No. 1891453 Report Game Master
>>1891371 >>1891382 >>1891400 Shas'O R'ala looks at Ragnhall and Gyro quizzically. "A pulse axe... what interesting concepts the Gue'la come up with..." he says.
"If you have not heard before, I am Shas'O R'ala of the Tau Empire. Ask your Gue'la comrades to fill you in on the rest."
The Tau starts scratching patterns in the dirt with his hooves.
"The plan, as of now, is to fortify this area as a stronghold first. Your accommodations, while effective against creatures of lesser intelligence, will not withstand a sustained barrage of pulse munitions. We will then use this place as a staging ground to liberate this planet from the Arume."
>>1891453 (Are you going to be loyalist or traitor?)
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp ID:YADJhAiU Thu 24 Aug 2017 00:38:14 No. 1891494 Report >>1891486 TRAITOR AS FUCK
SEVEN LIVES FOR MY PEOPLE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ragnhall
>>1891486 whatever, ideas here don't matter. what we need is action. point me in the direction I should go.
Gyro
>>1891486 'Where is the exit'
>I ask Game Master
>>1891367 >>1891389 >>1891486 The Arume Sergeant sighs dejectedly. "Once the intelligence is collected, go and get equipped."
>>1891494 (Fine then.)
The door bursts open and Aryan Cockswinger is thrown into the interrogation room. The Arume Sergeant is stunned as the guards mutter something about a lack of hygiene that the newest captive has, and that 'he's your problem now'.
>>1891501 >>1891509 "Our first target will be north of here. We will march out at dawn. If you do not wish to fight alongside us, you are free to leave."
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp
The Aryan Cockswinger !!a2v4gtQWzxp ID:YADJhAiU Thu 24 Aug 2017 00:45:48 No. 1891555 Report >>1891545 I stand up with a mahoosive schlong throbbin' in my pantaloons.
Anonymous
>>1891545 "Alright it then"
>get equipped Noobsiuss
>>1891545 "yare yare daze." i wait for the intel
Anonymous
Pvt.Jim
>>1891486 "Alright let's get a move on."
>Face to try commisar "You feeling any better yet?"
Gyro
>>1891545 >Sigh 'Point me in. Tell me who is the target'
Game Master
>>1891555 >>1891558 >>1891563 There is an awkward silence as TAC stands up with a large erection. Both Hammond and the Arume Sergeant steadily inch towards the door to get as far away from him as possible. Noobsiuss is apathetic as TAC's erection steadily inches towards his face.
>>1891568 >>1891569 >>1891587 Ragnhall retires to his sleeping area as Private Jim and Gyro ask for more details about the upcoming attack.
"Their architecture is primarily prefabricated constructions, so we know the vague layout of each individual building. What we will do once the outer wall is breached is clear each building and secure the main fortress. After we have captured the encampment, we will take and fortify it ourselves to prevent the Arume from accessing it. I believe that you might have personal stake in it, as this was the location of the former Imperial Guard headquarters."
Private Jim faces the Commissar, who appears much more sober after throwing up all that noxious fluid.
"I feel much better now," she says. "I guess the Emperor truly has future plans for me."
A fire warrior bursts through the tent. "Shas'O! We have intercepted air traffic."
"What!?" He yells. "There shouldn't be any air traffic at this hour. Get me a pict feed!"
A small disc-shaped drone is shown. "An Earth-Caste builder drone? What could that be fo- Shoot it down now!!"
Plasma rifles start flashing as the drone is brought down in a hail of superheated air.
"We may be the ones under attack instead..." Shas'O R'ala grimly states. "Everyone! Start fortifying this location now!"
Gyro
>>1891790 'Alright. Alright'
>Try to Fortify the place with wood metal etc. Stuff that i can find useful. Anonymous
>>1891545 "Who is this freak commander?"
"Also your eyes are nice"
"Just like your body"
Noobsiuss
>>1891790 >>1891555 "say is that a weapon you are hiding" i go closer to the thing sticking out of his pants
Pvt.Jim
>>1891790 "What-oh,ok."
>Start fortifying the base with Gyro Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>1891790 Hearing the commotion, I burst out of my chambers wielding an ax I brought with me and loudly yell
"who wants a piece of this wieking, I've got plenty for all" as I whirl through the opposition
Game Master
>>1891841 >>1891806 Private Jim and Gyro fortify the outer walls as Tau sentry turrets drop from above to secure the perimeter. Green chapter serfs are inspired by their bravery and start making breastwork along the perimeter. Ragnhall bursts out without his name tag screaming incoherently and somehow manages to whip the Space Marines into a killing frenzy. It seems they're all raring to fight.
>>1891825 >>1891831 The Arume Sergeant's watch beeps and she opens the door, dragging Noob and Hammond out and shuts the door behind her.
"Yeahthatsniceletsgetoutofhereok?"
Anonymous
>>1891912 "Sure baby youre the boss"
"Your eyes are as beautiful as the sea,Your body is as perfect as a nice painting on canvas,you are perfect i think we were made for eschother"
>flirt and roll for charm Noobsiuss
>>1891912 (i'm assuming they gave me my bombs?)
"where are we going sarge?"
Gyro
>>1891912 >Join with Ragnhall to attack the Space marines with my gun Gay Gideon
>>1891912 >he comes in and stares at the nearest mirror >he makes a pose Anonymous
>>1891912 struggling into my lamellar best, I yell, "forward, men! For glory!"
Game Master
>>1891933 >>1891936 >>1891945 The Sergeant blushes and shakes her head. "Get equipped and we move immediately."
Noob and Hammond both are given pulse rifles, and Noob gets a backpack full of explosives. 4 platoons of hovercrafts are warming up, with Arume troops loading into each one. You see a flamboyant man looking into a mirror as you load into the craft.
"Your intel checked out. How lucky are you?"
>>1891937 (They're on your side, you dip)
>>1891977 The Space Marines and the rest of the soldiers cheer as reptilian and insectoid Xenos start assembling in formation.
"Kroot and Vespids. They are valuable allies," Shas'O R'ala explains.
Anonymous
>>1892050 "Oh my love i can only go to this mission after a sweet kiss"
"Let's do it my love,i know you miss a man and I'm here to make you supplied"
>roll to kiss her >Then move out to the airship Gyro
>>1892050 >Get out of there and shrug 'Well my job here is done.'
>Go and find a way to live a common life. Gay Gideon
>>1892050 >he walks flamboyantly into the craft "Haaaay boys! Lets go! Hehe!"
Ragnhall
>>1892050 I fire my pulse pistol, switch to my axe, and bury it in an enemy. "who want's to join me?" I say.
Pvt.Jim
>>1892050 "Xenos? Alright,but don't try anything fishy."
Noobsiuss
>>1892050 i strap two remotely detonated bombs to my chest. "this is gonna be fun"
i look around, then to the sarge "which one is my platoon?"
Anonymous
>>1892084 "The fuck did i do to deserve you?"
Game Master
>>1892070 >>1892084 >>1892096 >>1892097 The Arume Sergeant leans away from Hammond and turns to Noobsiuss.
"Unfortunately, you three are with me," she says.
Another Arume comes towards the Sergeant. "Sergeant Aki, my condolences about you being relegated to dealing with the humans, but you know the price of failure."
>>1892074 Gyro fucks off (You are now removed from play, I guess.)
>>1892085 >>1892088 A Kroot comes towards Jim and places his hand on his shoulder.
"Do not worry, human. We all fight for the Greater Good. I trust that you will fight well."
Ragnhall goes berserk and kills one of the chapter serfs as there's no enemies currently available. The Space Marines start laughing.
"Ahaha! Dat git'z a gud larf, 'e iz."
Ragnhall
Quoted By:
>>1892175 I slowly come down from the rage, realizing what I had just done. I ask Shas where to go next
Noobsiuss
Quoted By:
>>1892175 "well she only failed because we were too good."
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>1892175 >Keep flirting with aki "Baby you are so beautiful I don't think I'll be able to shoot properly,my visuon will be distracted by your prettiness"
"You really gets my gun ready to shoot and my grenade ready to blast"
"I am madly in love with you"
Pvt.Jim
Quoted By:
>>1892175 "That's a bit comforting."
Game Master
Quoted By:
Seeing as everyone is fucking MIA on the Loyalist side, I'll call the session for now. Please visit us on our Discord server at
https://discord dot gg/3rNC2x or /bant/ arume
With the plan of action set and the Arume quickly advancing on the Loyalists' (Not Orks') position, a major battle could take place that could set the course for the entire war! Will they be able to repel the Arume's assault? Will Hammond get da p00si? Will the safety on Noobsiuss' suicide bombs be accidentally pulled? Will Pickleteef and Bushwakka be able to keep up their kunnin' disguises? Find out next time on Arume Survival: Only War Edition!
Wednesdays at 7:15 PM EST!
Anonymous
