Two days ago my therapist said "does it really matter if you are a boy or not? It sounds like you are in pain, real pain" It hit me so hard. I struggle with identity, not just gender. It pains me to be percieved, as anything, but especially as someone with gender. Though i dont consider myself as trans, I also dont feel like I fit the "mold" as cis. Sometimes I want to get rid of anything on my body that are percieved as man, and I know I would still think the same if I was a woman. Theres no way to please my brain. I try to hard to find label that I can use, so i can belong, yet the nonbinary label still doesnt seem right. Not sure if I'll ever be comfortable, and im just trying to survive in this gendered world.