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My girlfriend's brother is a hikikomori. I genuinely feel sick looking at him.
He's an obese man. Doesn't shower, doesn’t groom himself—he’s got these long uncut nails that make him look like a rat man. He spends nearly all of his time in his room, gaming, masturbating or trying to convince the world about communism on Twitter. There's a dark splotch stained into the wall beside his PC. I believe it comes from him rubbing his paws against the wall to clean them—it's a mix of semen, grease and other unknown fluids—it's began to grow mould this past year. He gets cheques from the government for his autism, most of it goes to commissioning porn. While in the car, sitting beside his family I watched him scroll through vore drawings.
He's never worked a job, doesn’t have a high-school diploma or any useful skills. His parents have let him live in the basement free of work because of his autism but at most he has minor aspergers. He uses Linux so I attempted to talk into him pursuing a career as a system admin. He responded by telling me that he was “good at programming but would never do it for work”—he uses Linux Mint.
When his parents die—if he lives past them—he'll have nowhere to go and I'll have to take him in. There's times I find myself wishing for him to die early so he doesn't burden me. I feel ill thinking these things but I don’t know how I'd be comfortable with my children growing up around him. I've contemplated planning on putting him into a studio apartment but I don’t know if I could live with his neighbours finding him dead behind his PC when the smell of his corpse becomes unbearable.
I want the best for him but I never see him improving. I don't hate the rat man but I don’t want to be near him.
Second confession: Maybe I drank too much this year.
