>>19396265I'm just a dumb faggot who refuses to give up the booze, despite it causing personal and professional (and legal) problems. I don't want to stop. I binge on the weekends, accomplish nothing, then spend the week in a hybrid state of guilt, distraction, and self pity. Then by the time the weekend rolls around I gotta go out again and repeat the whole cycle.
Even if I don't act that badly anymore, it's draining in many ways. I am at the point where I don't want to see any old friends or family. It's all a humiliation ritual. I know I'm not done for, it's easy to turn this ship around, etc. The plain hard fact is that I don't want to stop drinking until something cataclysmic happens, and by then it'll be too late.
I make good money but I'm spiritually vapid. I only live to serve myself and maybe buy a few drinks at the bar for others. Never mind the fact that I think I've drank away my libido and I'm only 31, with no interests of dating or anything. Just survive enough to the next paycheck and the next 12 pack.
Cheers, fuckers. I hate this and I hate all of you. Hope to never be back but I'll see ya next time.
