Does anyone else get unusual looking poos? This one time I had the most glorious looking poop. It was just floating there, looked almost exactly like the skin of a big cat. The pattern was like a leopard coat, irregular dark brown spots with the rest being a very light tan. I was gazing at it with wonder, almost a shame to flush it down. I had to though, it smelled like rotten garbage. You know, that oily kind of smell that sticks to the back of your throat. Even gargling with mouth wash didn't make the smell go away. It took DAYS for the rotten smell to dissipate. After many, many hours of pondering, pondering what could've creating a poop that looked like a lepord skin, I came to a hypothesis. I believe that my irritable bowel syndrome was to blame. I believe that it was two separate bowel movements combined into something greater. It was as though two radically different types of poops did a DBZ fusion dance in my butt. First came the almost im-fucking-turning-into-a-rabbit poop. Not quite there, because it was all conjoined into one piece, but was still very dark and hard and BULBOUSY. This trait is critical for reasons I will reveal later. The second poop came like a theif in the night. Not really a poop but more like caramel soft serve ice cream, but VERY dull looking, no shinyness at all. Perhaps a warm mound of milk chocolate would be a better description. This one was a soft as you could get without being an ass piss. Now as the first was in my colon, all hard and bulbous like, the second came and tried to cut in line, it wanted to be first. So it came and filled my colon as well, filling all the gap, cracks and crevasses. So now their was a pocket in my butt, full of soft serve ice cream and fused milkduds. Now the magic happens, see here the MAGIC happened when I sat on my glorious throne ready to create ART. As I pushed my greatest creation out, the cracks in the hard poop filled with soft, creating the incredibly rare LEOPARD POOP.
