We interupt our programming, this is a Board wide Emergency, Standby for a Transcript of The /BANT/ Emergency Alert System, an Emergency is in Progress, Important Instructions will follow:

This is an Emergency Action Notification, This message is being Transmitted at the request of /BANT/ Civil Authorities, all Threads will transmit this Emergency Action Message, We will continue to Service the */BANT/_EAS* Thread, if this is not your local thread, tune into a thread providing News and Information for your area, do not use your Telephone, Telephone lines should only be used for Emergency use, The Emergency Alert System has been Activated :

/BANT/ Civil Authorities have Confirmed that by 10:17:30 PST a Cirno Posting OP has gotten a get of 2,000,000 and is expected to cause Board wide Faggotry to occur, Evacuation of /BANT/ is necessary to not be affected by this Faggotry, if you cannot move to a different Board, attempt to shut down any devices that are on the /BANT/ Board, Failure to do so will result in Homosexual feelings, a desire to change gender, and or conform to Anime Posting. stay calm, seclude yourself from friends and family, and wait until /BANT/ Civil Authorities give the All Clear, This station will continue to service the */BANT/_EAS* Thread