/bant/ - International/Random

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Anonymous ID:tPjZxd5X Sun 03 Sep 2017 20:54:24 No.2041435 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2041453 >>2041501 >>2041532 >>2042132 >>2042206

>be me
>working retail
>tard and wrangler comes in
>"oh no" mutters a coworker
>tard is walking funny and mumbling
>tard sniffs while saying "sniff sniff" out loud
>says to wrangler
>Baoom
>"Soon i have to buy this first"
>Baoom. Says the tard insisting.
>"One second"
>I see a small amount of fluid on his pants
>Ba. Oom.
>"can you wait 5 minutes?"
>Wrangler was a piece of shit imo
>hear a loud BRRRRRRRAP
>BAOOM. BAOOM. BAOOM.
>wrangler swears as piss and shit cover the tards pants and the floor around him
>as i grab the mop as they rush to the bathroom a faint "BAOOMBAOOMBAOOMBAOOMBAOOMBAOOM" echoes through the store.

Tard tales thred?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kwzqp0zx Sun 03 Sep 2017 20:56:34 No.2041453 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041435
>retail
I'm so sorry anon

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO hqdefault (2).jpg, 16KiB, 480x360

Anonymous ID:dA6zm/kI Sun 03 Sep 2017 21:00:54 No.2041481 Report

Quoted By: >>2041514 >>2042153 >>2043127 >>2043484 >>2043827

>be in seventh grade
>all but one kid in the special ed class were normal kids, just with ADHD or dyslexia
>that one kid's name is Tyler
>whenever coach would send us to the locker room to change after gym class, Tyler would always whip out his unnaturally large tard dick and start chasing everyone around as his cock slapped about
>he would never even get a talking to about this because who wants to tell a half naked tard what to do
>so one day, Tyler ventures out the door and into the hall
>Everyone stops for a second not knowing what to do or where he'll go
>immediately hear shrieking coming from the girl's locker room
>He had ran in with his shorts pulled down to his ankles, now chasing the girls with his cock
>he grabs a girl who's just in her bra and panties
>she lets a blood curdling scream as he licks her face like a fucking dog, his limp Bizkit becoming erect and poking her in the thigh
>She struggles and gets free, running out into the hall half naked
>Tyler comes running out after her
>he trips over his shorts and lands right on top of her
>He pushes himself up with his meaty arms
>He gets this creepy smile forming across his deformed face
>She screams and fucking slams her fist into his nose
>the goliath rolls over holding his nose which is leaking blood all over himself
>bitch fucking books it
>Tyler slowly stands up
>We call out to him
>"Tyler, are you oka-"
>He lets out his war cry
>He ascends every possible known level of tardation
>he rips his shirt clean off his chest
>pulls his shorts off and throws them to the ground
>he goes bulldozing down the hall after her
>Swearing like a sailor
>knocking shit over
>student comes out of the bathroom
>"Tyler, what's wrong?"
>the tard turns to him and knocked him square in the jaw
>He then continues chasing after the girl
>trail of wranglers chasing after this marvelous specimen yelling "Tyler, it's okay sweetie, just calm down!"
>mfw coach tells us to go back in the locker room, nothing to see.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:tl8kX3D3 Sun 03 Sep 2017 21:03:28 No.2041501 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041435
chuckled

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1LN94Hws Sun 03 Sep 2017 21:04:53 No.2041514 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041481
Jee-zus H fucking Christ, what a spectacle.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:wzlOo+Pm Sun 03 Sep 2017 21:06:46 No.2041532 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041435
Pic reminds me
No fappath on the sabbath boys

┣▇TRASH▇▇═─

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┣▇TRASH▇▇═─ ID:4RYvKtPx Sun 03 Sep 2017 21:53:27 No.2042067 Report

Quoted By:

No story's but i want to bump

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zZ4/eFs7 Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:01:18 No.2042132 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041435
Bumping for legendary thread

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:tPjZxd5X Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:03:08 No.2042153 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041481
Holy hell dude.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:wzVf+kJZ Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:05:36 No.2042173 Report

Quoted By: >>2042316 >>2043284

>finished hanging out and eating with friends at some diner far from my house at late night
>decide to do shop in a nearby Safeway since the one near my house might close when I reach it
>enter with a trolly and go around between isiles collecting the stuff I need and want
>notice from the corner of my eye some teenager following me around with his phone in his hand
>go in random directions to see if he'll still follow me, and surprise surprise, he does
>decided to walk up to him and ask him what the hell he wants
>he keeps pointing at my shirt and making weird noises while still taking photos of me
>his parents came running, obviously frustrated that he was pestering me, and apologized to me on his unpredictable behavior
>the kid is an actual autismo and he thought I was a famous soccer player because I was wearing a Chelsea FC jersey even though I barely resemble any player in that club
>tell them it's no problem, finish my shopping, and go home

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QUI4+0CB Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:08:31 No.2042206 Report

Quoted By: >>2042290 >>2043919

>>2041435
I worked retail. I put in my time, and I got a story.

>Christmas eve
>I'm closing because I let it slip that my family does christmas on christmas eve.
>Be the only white guy in the store.
>An elder black fellow comes in as snow is drifting outside and my last hour draws to a close.
>Guy buys a package of toilet paper.
>Ignores the self-checkout to come to me
>Guy remains silent for a bit until I tell him his total and he pays.
>As he's grabbing the ticket he stops and looks me square in the eyes.
>(I'm trying to recall this speech from memory) You know how I can tell the fake niggers from the real ones? It's because of the scar behind the ear. The CIA has been kidnaping white people and replacing them with niggers for years. They aint right niggers I tell you. They dont look at you like people. They got them animal eyes that only know the five-finger discount and big asses. CIA is putting something in the water, trying to make you white folk go wild for fake nigger asses. Trust me. There's a storm coming. Soon its just going to be you, alone, looking at fake niggers. The CIA dont want no white people running free. They want to replace the slaves they lost. All-seeing Eye.
>At this moment a coworker drops by, "is there any problem?"
>Old man shits his pants on command and turns to the lady and in a completely different voice goes "No No just taking poopy paper from nice man, thx! (He said something like this shit)"

Motherfucker walked out of the store then and I put in my two weeks notice after christmas. Weirdest shit I ever experienced. I'm still wondering why he was pretending to be retarded.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:tPjZxd5X Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:18:04 No.2042290 Report

Quoted By:

>>2042206
Inb4 nigger speech becomes a copypasta

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:VtmHjDYh Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:21:17 No.2042316 Report

Quoted By:

>>2042173
Imagine being this autistic

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:t96iOH8o Sun 03 Sep 2017 22:56:15 No.2042665 Report

Quoted By: >>2043884

>be me 8th grade
>My p.e. teacher is letting us have free time in the field
>see tard
>he's wearing black and grey striped shirt and basketball shorts
>I approach him say hi, and give him the name of a kid I hated
>walk over to pile of dog shit
>call tard over
>he gallops over and lands right in the dog shit.
>shrieks about his light-up sketchers
>I laugh my ass off and run.
>now in next period.
>kid I hate gets called up to office
>ohmygoditsworking.jpg
>kid comes back all upset and red faced. Angry about who would ever do this to a disabled person
>kid gets suspended for two days
>school holds assembly to tell us that making fun of the less advantaged is wrong
I still dont regret it.
Sorry if i fucked up grammatically somewhere.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:rPD9WoeB Sun 03 Sep 2017 23:37:22 No.2043120 Report

Quoted By:

>be me, year 8 or 9, don't really remember definitely wasn't 10 or 11
>in art class
>head of year comes in to tell us that one of the kids in our class is not in our classroom as he should be, and is infact running around music with a staplegun
>music consisted of one classroom at the end of the hallway we were on, and one room upstairs in what was basically the loft of the building and so that one room was the entire floor, so I have no fucking clue where he was actually running around
Might have just been badly behaved and not a tard, but might as well share it. He'd actually been moved to our class from another because of his behaviour.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:rPD9WoeB Sun 03 Sep 2017 23:38:12 No.2043127 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041481
>his limp Bizkit becoming erect
Beautiful wordsmanship

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:tPjZxd5X Sun 03 Sep 2017 23:51:37 No.2043284 Report

Quoted By: >>2043325

>>2042173
Which one of you fucks posted this to plebbit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:t96iOH8o Sun 03 Sep 2017 23:55:59 No.2043325 Report

Quoted By: >>2043365

>>2043284
Another question. Why were you there?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:tPjZxd5X Sun 03 Sep 2017 23:58:50 No.2043365 Report

Quoted By: >>2043487

>>2043325
Morbid curiosity as to whether or not some cuck would post one of these greentexts

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FABzEA/k Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:10:54 No.2043484 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041481
Holieeeee sheeeiiit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:YFPd3GT6 Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:11:08 No.2043487 Report

Quoted By: >>2043711

>>2043365
Link

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:t96iOH8o Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:34:27 No.2043711 Report

Quoted By:

>>2043487
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/6xwpgf/banter_boi_meets_an_autist/
Why are reddit fags so autistic

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:6OIYjPow Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:45:40 No.2043793 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>13 yo
>altar server
>go with two grils and a 23 yo tard
>tard wants to go to buy some icecream
>priest tell him he should be with us prepared for mass
>tard goes on a tantrum
>the father has a word with him
>tard mumbling "it's not fair"
>priest tell us to get prepared to mass
>we go to fetch our server robes
>tard goes missing
>we try to find tard everywhere
>doesn't appear
>girl says he must have gone to back to his room
>latter we go to the upper part of the temple
>tard appears climbing from the side of one of the tinier domes (pic related)
>he fails and gets to the side of the building acting as if the tries to jump
>people freaks out
>"oh God that man is trying to kill himself"
>priest: "not this shit again"
>priest tell us to not look at him
>he tell everyone to stop looking at him
>priest personally takes tard out
>tard cries like a tard
>mass is over
>go back to our town
>late night
>tard climbs on a huge Christ wooden sculpture
>makes his act where he says he'll kill himself
>priest goes "fuck it"
>sits in front of the door, prepares a mate and waits
>tard starts screaming; "I'll kill myself I swear God"
>priest: the sooner you get down from there the better will be for you
>2 hours pass
>we play cards with the priest
>one hour more
>the priest tells tard he won't be allowed to serve anymore
>tard goes cursing back to his home
>he's back the next day as if nothing happened

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Grk0uZeK Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:48:38 No.2043827 Report

Quoted By:

>>2041481
I remember this one

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Grk0uZeK Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:54:01 No.2043884 Report

Quoted By: >>2043900

>>2042665
sniff

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:t96iOH8o Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:55:59 No.2043900 Report

Quoted By:

>>2043884

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Grk0uZeK Mon 04 Sep 2017 00:58:45 No.2043919 Report

Quoted By:

>>2042206
>God damned CIA Niggers

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