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Blyatman Survival

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:11:15 No.2053376 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2053461 >>2053475 >>2053481 >>2053488 >>2053640

>plot
Blyatman appears out of nowhere and tears shit up. The arume and humans have no choice but to team up. The anons start out as prisoners.
>info
This will be only one thread, so make it last. Since this is a meme thread, be as meme as you can with no exceptions. Even cirno and kagari are allowed. Oh, and blyatman is SUPER strong, and his rolls are more valuable than yours by +20.

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

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Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:13:42 No.2053461 Report

Quoted By: >>2053502

>>2053376
>Drinks famous Arume vodka
>Starts creating space battleships n shiet

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:14:40 No.2053475 Report

Quoted By: >>2053502

>>2053376
i kill him

Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Bonaparte ID:0piRQ3Dr Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:15:20 No.2053481 Report

Quoted By: >>2053502

>>2053376
>Charge with my horse to blyatman while shouting 'VIVA LA FRANCE'

!C.PTrIpFag

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!C.PTrIpFag ID:aDpS4l7q Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:16:05 No.2053488 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053376

lol internet

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:17:38 No.2053502 Report

Quoted By: >>2053509 >>2053513 >>2053523 >>2053531

>>2053461
79
You build a couple space-craft carriers. The arume pick them up on radar. They don't know you exist yet, but oh they will. They send a message:
"Unidentified space-craft carrier, move out of this solar system or face the consequences"
>>2053475
>>2053481
Guys, you're in a prison. You gotta talk with the arume.

Napoleon Bonaparte

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Napoleon Bonaparte ID:0piRQ3Dr Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:18:54 No.2053509 Report

Quoted By: >>2053591

>>2053502
'Où suis-je et où est mon cheval!'
-Where am i and where is my horse!-

>I ask to the arume

David Stump Grinder

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David Stump Grinder ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:19:14 No.2053513 Report

Quoted By: >>2053591

>>2053502
>Shit in my hands and smear it all over my cell

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:20:08 No.2053523 Report

Quoted By: >>2053591

>>2053502
"hey... we gotta work together to kill blyatman you hoe"

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:20:22 No.2053531 Report

Quoted By: >>2053591

>>2053502
"Cyka blyat, do you xeno scum know who I am?"
>open fire on the Arumes

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:24:51 No.2053591 Report

Quoted By: >>2053609 >>2053610 >>2053618 >>2053622 >>2053625

>>2053509
65
"Your horse is gone." the arume guard says.
"You're in the main prison."
>>2053513
42
You smear shit all over your cell. It catches no ones attention, except for one arume. She gives you a disgusted look.
>>2053523
41
The guard looks at you with a glare.
"Don't call me a hoe." she says. "You think I'd work together with a filthy human?"
>>2053531
100
You destroy a lot of nearby arume space ships. Holy crap. They start fleeing back to their home world. They feature you on the news.

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:26:56 No.2053609 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053591
"shut up hoe, and listen when a man is speaking. don't make me beat you. now lets go kill blyatman."

Napoleon Bonaparte

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Napoleon Bonaparte ID:0piRQ3Dr Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:27:00 No.2053610 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053591
'Blasphème!'
-Blasphemy!-

>Use my French tactics and hit her with the bars or door

'CELA EST POUR LA FRANCE'

lol faget

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lol faget ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:27:43 No.2053618 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053591
"Ayy, you there!"
>Point at the arume that gave me a disgusted look
"Do you remember me?"
>Roll around in the shit while I wait for her response

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:27:55 No.2053622 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053591
>Return to earth
>Call every space program on the planet to unite themselves to create a massive fleet of spaceships to fight those damn Arumes

Cirno

Cirno ID:2l7SfLB3 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:28:21 No.2053625 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053591
I wake up as an ice fairy

Faggot

Faggot ID:f+Dz9JqW Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:29:40 No.2053640 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

>>2053376
>I suck my own dick
>also where am I?

The Duke

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The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:33:31 No.2053669 Report

Quoted By: >>2053691

Blow it out your ass Arume
I'm here to kick ass and chew gum

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:35:49 No.2053691 Report

Quoted By: >>2053699 >>2053702 >>2053710 >>2053711 >>2053729 >>2053764 >>2053781

>>2053609
10
She shoots you with plasma in the face. You have burn marks all over your cheeks. Don't be a dick.
>>2053610
80
You hit her with the bars, she lets you out.
"Okay okay!" she says. "Knock it off!"
>>2053618
Dubs. She does. She remembers you as THE StumpGrinder.
"You're stumpgrinder!" she exclaims. "I'm sorry I gave you that look!"
>>2053622
47
You call them, but they don't listen. They don't believe in arume. You need to convince them.
>>2053625
52
You wake up in a cell. It's chillier than the other cells, due to you being an ice fairy.
>>2053640
04
Your dick comes off.
>>2053669
96
You kick some ass. You knock a bunch of arume out. Hold on there, partner, theres a bigger threat. His name is BLYATMAN.

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:36:51 No.2053699 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
"NANI? WHY'D YOU DO THAT HOE? I'M JUST SAYING WE SHOULD WORK TOGETHER TO DEFEAT A COMMON ENEMY! DO YOU HAVE AUTISM OR SOMETHING?"

David Stump Grinder

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David Stump Grinder ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:37:16 No.2053702 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
"Yeah, that's me. We wanted to make out but your dad wouldn't let us. Could ya help me out of this cell?"

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:38:02 No.2053710 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
>Tell them about the whole fleet of the fuckers I've just destroyed, and the fact that they've been planning to invade the earth for some time now, and that my currently tiny fleet of battleships isn't enough to fight off a full scale invasion of the earth

Napoleon Bonaparte

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Napoleon Bonaparte ID:0piRQ3Dr Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:38:13 No.2053711 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
'OUVRIR LA CELLULE OU JE L'OUVERTE MME. POUR LES PERSONNES FRANÇAISES'

>Try to kick the door.

Faggot

Faggot ID:f+Dz9JqW Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:40:16 No.2053729 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
>I shove it in my pocket for later, then look at my surroundings

Cirno

Cirno ID:2l7SfLB3 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:43:34 No.2053764 Report

Quoted By: >>2053779

>>2053691
I look for someone to freeze.
that's cold

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:45:11 No.2053779 Report

Quoted By: >>2053791 >>2053793 >>2053813 >>2053816 >>2053826 >>2053834

>>2053699
08
"Speak one more word and I kill you!" she says. "Don't test me!"
She points the plasma gun at you. You pissed her off.
>>2053702
95
She helps you out of the cell.
"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience..." she says. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
>>2053710
73
They believe you. They start building one big military. They also build some nukes too.
>>2053711
26
You find a rusty knife. It's good at giving people rust diseases. Thats a start.
>>2053729
92
You find yourself in a comfy cell. Even though you're in a prison, its nice here. Why would anyone want to leave this?
>>2053764
46
You don't freeze a person, but the floor. Its nice and slippery.

The Duke

The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:45:24 No.2053781 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053691
I kick another Arumes ass and demand they join my harem
I confront blyatman and tell them
>I've got balls of steel!

Napoleon Bonaparte

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Napoleon Bonaparte ID:0piRQ3Dr Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:46:38 No.2053791 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053779
'J'ai besoin de l'épine avec la FRANCE LIBÉRÉE'

>Keep searching for my sword

David Stump Grinder

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David Stump Grinder ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:47:01 No.2053793 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053779
>Look her straight in the eyes
"I want to help you, the arume. There is an evil presence... I can feel it."

Faggot

Faggot ID:f+Dz9JqW Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:50:02 No.2053813 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053779
>I chill in my cell and look at my dick to see if it's possible to reattach it

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:39JllxlN Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:50:39 No.2053816 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053779
I walk through the hallway and slip on the icy floor, meeting the ice fairy as a result

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:51:47 No.2053826 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053779
>Oversee this production of a space warfleet
>Reveal myself to the public by crashing in a Trump rally
"Citizens of earth: I have something gravely important to tell you all. There is a great danger lurking just above our heads, and it's name is the Arumes. I have united the greatest minds in the world to create a force capable of defeating this threat, but all of us, both mighty and meek, humble and proud, must do something immediately about this threat. Do not allow those working against the interests of mankind and it's many members to sway you away from the cause of earth's liberty! Forwards! And we shall uproot the threat before it spreads like a vile, destructive, weed across the galaxy!"

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:52:32 No.2053834 Report

Quoted By: >>2053850

>>2053779
"TEME! WHY YOU!" i try to calm down

"i think the reason why you are so uptight is because you've never had a man to keep you in check. that is alright, i am a man. it is my responsibility to control you. now put down that gun, and go make me a sandwich." i say calmly but firmly. i also give a richard look

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:56:02 No.2053850 Report

Quoted By: >>2053871 >>2053879 >>2053911 >>2053936 >>2053959

>>2053781
18
You don't find blyatman. The girl arume whose ass you kicked refuses your offer.
"I'd rather die than join your harem!" she says.
>>2053791
86
You find a long, steel sword. You look in its reflection and see yourself.
>>2053793
98
She nods.
"There is!" she exclaims. "Blyatman has appeared out of nowhere! You must help us!"
She looks up to you.
>>2053813
31
You can't, since you pulled it off. Ouch.
>>2053826
36
They all get into a slight panic.
"The arume will kill us before we kill all of them!" someone says. "We need to hide!"
>>2053834
29
She calms down slightly. She still won't listen to you.
"I won't put this gun down." she says. "Now shut up. Bend thy knee. Show your loyalty!"

David Stump Grinder

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David Stump Grinder ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:58:50 No.2053871 Report

Quoted By: >>2053956

>>2053850
>G R I N D S O M E S T U M P S

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 19:59:41 No.2053879 Report

Quoted By: >>2053956

>>2053850
"i am sorry i cannot bend the knee to a woman, you see i'd rather die than do that." give chad look

"once you get a good dicking you will stop being like this, but i can't give you one since we are not married."

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

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Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:03:21 No.2053911 Report

Quoted By: >>2053956

>>2053850
"Humanity is stronger than the Arumes could ever hope to be, comrade! There is no need to fear, our technology will wipe out their entire military in a matter of weeks! I have stricken fear into the hearts of their entire citizenry on first contact!"
>Get morale at a record high and then fly off to see how the production of the fleet is going, if it's done prepare for takeoff, we're gonna fight the first interplanetary war

The Duke

The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:06:41 No.2053936 Report

Quoted By: >>2053945 >>2053956

>>2053850
Tell her she has no choice and continue my search

The Duke

The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:08:02 No.2053945 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053936
Forgot to add I cockslap her and arm myself with humanities mightiest weapons

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:09:02 No.2053956 Report

Quoted By: >>2053976 >>2053982 >>2053992 >>2054004

>>2053871
>>2053879
>>2053936
>>2053911
A transmission can be heard, it is from the arume commander herself.
"Blyatman, we will not stand down from your advances. We shall beat you using our prisoners only. Come over here by yourself and fight our prisoners if you can! Haha!" she says, over the radio.

Faggot

Faggot ID:f+Dz9JqW Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:09:35 No.2053959 Report

Quoted By: >>2054052

>>2053850
>I start punching the wall for fun

the killer guy

the killer guy ID:7Ziv2XYl Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:11:39 No.2053976 Report

Quoted By: >>2054052

>>2053956
"what is this? the ussr?"

LOL FAGET THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS

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LOL FAGET THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS ID:twYuZpF+ Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:12:16 No.2053982 Report

Quoted By: >>2054052

>>2053956
>I calmly place my hands together
>I close my eyes
>I start rubbing my hands together, slowly
>I then begin quietly chanting "lol faget"
>Slowly get louder
>and louder
>and louder....
>Ascend into LOL FAGET THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS

The Duke

The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:12:52 No.2053992 Report

Quoted By: >>2054001 >>2054052

>>2053956
What is this crap
I break into the transmission room with a mighty pelvic thrust and demand to Arume commander and explanation

The Duke

The Duke ID:rcBLHt2F Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:13:26 No.2054001 Report

Quoted By: >>2054052

>>2053992
Reroll

Tony "Blyatman" Slavison

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Tony "Blyatman" Slavison ID:IkgpKzO4 Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:13:37 No.2054004 Report

Quoted By: >>2054052

>>2053956
>Respond to her transmission
"Cyka blyat, you'll have much more than just me to worry about xeno scum"
>Get the fleet and it's crewmen ready
>Take off to the Arume home planet with the fleet of warships, and then beam down from my capital ship to fight the prisoners while the rest of the fleet curbstomp the Arume forces
>Slam Cirno's head into the wall and use her as a projectile weapon against the stumpgrinder

OP ID:Fk4sv8cb Mon 04 Sep 2017 20:19:32 No.2054052 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053959
>>2053976
>>2053982
>>2053992
>>2054001
>>2054004
A black hole flies by and succs you all in. Thread over. At least blyatman is dead.

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