Honestly, I was just 16, my mother died, I failed my AS-levels in sixth form college, which are like a meme version of A-levels and they wouldn't let me back in, I was alone, I basically just gave up on society and the normy route in life at that point. It had always been my dream to be a scientist or something, I was always philosophical, thinking about consciousness and existence and things, nothing deep since I was 16, but I had something to contribute to society, however the way people treated me just because I fell a little short after my mother died was horrifying, like a slap in the face. All these educated upper-middle class people who had treated me nicely just turned on me and decided I was not to be a part of society anymore.
I still don't understand it, they spent 11 years educating me then suddenly out of the blue "fuck you" and that was that. My education derailed, I wasn't going to uni. On top of this no one wanted to socialize with me or be my friend no matter how I tried. Pretty soon like every other teenager I could come into contact with me wanted nothing to do with me. My education was gone, my social life gone, I had no idea what to do, no one wanted to hire me. I was nothing, even though people I had gone to school with since I was little were happy, partying, being teenagers, about to complete their A-levels and get on with their life.
I realized the world is not what I had been taught it is and have been trying to figure out what it really is ever since.
