This is my russenslugger. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My russenslugger is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My russenslugger, without me, is useless. Without my russenslugger, I am useless.
I must swing my russenslugger true. I must strike harder than the Russians who must be stopped.

I must stop them before they harm us. I will...

My russenslugger and I know that what counts in this war is not the number of swings we take, the noise we make, nor the splinters we cause. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My russenslugger is an extension of myself, just like my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its balance, its strengths, its grip, its weight, and its sweet spot. I will keep my russenslugger clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God, I swear this creed. My russenslugger and I are the defenders of Ukraine. We are the masters of the Russian invaders. We are the saviors of our homeland.

So be it, until victory is Ukraine's and the Russians are defeated, and there destroyed. Amen.