Everyday i wake up, i don't want to. i want to stay in bed and keep laying there forever, free of the weight that we call responsibility, the weight we call burden, and the weight of life itself. I guess what im saying is i want to exist in a state of nonexistence, this might seem like a contradiction which it is, but in my opinion its just the normal state of being wakefull.
People who wake up aren't objective, they are in a state of entrancement, blinded by their desires, responsibilities and all wordly things. I wonder what a world without subjective viewpoints is like, is it utilitarian, or is it egocentric? is it a dystopia or a utopia, probably a mix of both, if a subjective person got there it would be the scariest place ever, atleast i think it would be, I am slowly going insane, I have two sides an objective side which is keeping me alive, the survival instinct, tries to make me live as passive as ever, and a subjective side, The part that loves cars, or dislikes my objective side. It's weird isn't it, I wonder what AI would be like if it was perfected? Would it have subjective thoughts? What would be the first question it asks? Eh its late.
Its 2 am, im writing some useless shit, but who cares. Ideologies are a bad thing, i know but without ideologies who are we? im a fan of ideologies, in the fact i dont like NPC's. But the fact that following an Ideology is the most basic form of being a NPC, I like unique things but i also hate the fact that im unique, It hurts to be alive, but killing myself isn't an option because of the basic survival instinct and the fear of death, in my opinion the people who kill themselves are very brave. I guess what i wish for isn't really death but nonexistence.
This might seem insane, but Eh its late.