>>21237151thats probably a good point to be honest
i'm sensible enough to be afraid of "attempting" suicide for attention because i know it'll just make people even more likely to avoid me
the things i tend to pull out of fear of being abandoned are usually more selfless, like going broke by spending a bunch of money to do something for a friend or volunteering myself to try and help them with more things than i can really handle
unfortunately these people tend to be unstable as well, or sometimes just abuse my kindness
over the summer i fell into drug abuse and started avoiding my friends because one of them threw out $300 worth of groceries i brought to him after he said he was having so much issues with money and debt that he couldn't feed himself properly, but i've been too afraid of losing him as a friend that i've continued acting like nothing happened with him and never confronted him about it
