I was a KHHV until I got a blowjob from this girl a month and a half ago. I also had terrible nasty sex weeks later where I didn't finish. I remember I cried after I drove that girl home, following the blowjob, as I know it's a sin. I am a very sensitive and thoughtful person at heart and it feels that, unlike most people, I am one of the few that has a spark of God within my soul.