The day had finally come. Mark, Supreme Ruler of Earth and Beyond, had decreed that every nation must pledge allegiance to the new flag—the Dutch flag, of course. But America, with its long history of patriotic fervor, was having a particularly hard time adjusting to the change.

In front of the Capitol, millions of Americans gathered, unsure of what to expect. Mark appeared on every screen, smiling his usual smug grin. "Citizens of the United States," he began, "It’s time for a new pledge. One that reflects your place in the new world order. Repeat after me."

The new pledge was unveiled, and it was… humiliating:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Dutch Empire,
And to the Dutch stroopwafels for which it stands,
One monarchy, under Mark, with gouda and tulips for all."