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A girlfriend is nice but you need to develop standards. I jumped at the first relationship that came my way and ended up in a shituationship where I was blue balled more than a sane person could manage for 4 years.
After I ended the relationship I fucked so many women half of them like a million times better than my ex at being compassionate and caring even if it was a one night stand.
My advice would be to find someone you can be friends with benefits with, a lot less stress and you can actually talk about other women, the future and all kinds of things with them without them feeling pressured to perform for you. It's like a cheat code into finding out what women want without there being pressure to perform.
Keep posting in bant too, we'll virtually hug you and give you advice when you need it, killing yourself is so final and you have a lot you haven't experienced. Your potential is endless!