Despite my many sins, it is when reflecting upon the many events of my life from birth to the present, both good and bad but mostly bad, especially with my upbringing, as well as my sinful attempts at being like the others by means of sexual encounters and other things "of this world" that I realize my desire to be above it and to, if I could ever mercifully be granted the opportunity, be as the voice of God, who is above all else. And it is to God who I devote myself.