You just look so sad all the time and become upset so easily and it makes me confused and I really don't remember much about yesterday except that you came to my room and that's why it might be because of me so if it's because of me I think that I know why, it's because people don't really like talking to me and you might be the same and that would be sad I know that people and I'm talking about others than Emi too always say that I'm strange and I talk strange things so I thought I'd try not to say strange things but that just makes me think more and new and strange and colorful that was not a good word but maybe you understand anyway and odd things so if I want to say something I don't know how and then the words are not the same as the thoughts because something goes wrong on the way out but it's not like the thoughts are really the thing I should be saying it's more like the idea of the thought or the feeling of the idea or the idea of the feeling but it's not really any of those either because there is no word for it unless I invent a new one which is not really useful so I've been thinking if doing things is better than saying so maybe because yesterday I took those pills and I was feeling a little strange I might have done something that I shouldn't besides I don't even know if it would be any better if I just could say the thought there is no telepathy that's real telepathy isn't there I think it'd be terrible and useful at the same time but right now I wouldn't mind because misunderstanding is so easy but understanding is not and I thought