/bant/ - International/Random

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Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:06:16 No.2149139 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2149146 >>2149163 >>2149186 >>2149211

good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:07:28 No.2149146 Report

Quoted By: >>2149170

>>2149139
You let your wife's bull fuck you in the ass, didn't you?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Disappointed Tsumugi 2.png, 243KiB, 600x374

Anonymous ID:wazDABgm Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:08:35 No.2149151 Report

Quoted By: >>2149170

Technically not gayposting but still disappointing

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:GMrRfo2M Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:09:28 No.2149156 Report

Quoted By: >>2149170

You can't tell us your ass hurts without a proper backstory anon that's not how it works

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO DE04788B-FA43-43B2-A1AC-FCF81ABC (...).png, 1MiB, 1224x7442

Anonymous ID:zLA/afR+ Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:11:20 No.2149163 Report

Quoted By: >>2149208

>>2149139
This cheers me up every time I see it.
>inb4 terrible person
She deserved it.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:12:11 No.2149170 Report

Quoted By: >>2149188

>>2149146
>>2149151
>>2149156
nothing happened
I spent too much time on the internet
and my ass fucking decided to have no more of it
now if I touch it I feel it a little bit "bulgy"
the doctor has given me some ass patches to put every night

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Pviu6c6H Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:14:37 No.2149186 Report

Quoted By: >>2149203 >>2149222

>>2149139
>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /b/
> a few months later i get a trap fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a qt black trap
>looks like a pretty girl
>arrange meeting
>go to her house
>shitty neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"ay yo whats good sweaty"
>she dosen't have a manly voice at all
>pretty deep
>said to her i have a fetish to be dominated
>she takes this to heart
>she makes me suck her dick
>she makes me get fucked in the ass
>her big 8-inch cock right up my ass
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Sorry Mean Tsumugi.png, 1MiB, 758x526

Anonymous ID:wazDABgm Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:14:45 No.2149188 Report

Quoted By: >>2149197

>>2149170
Oh I'm sorry! I guess I just assumed something, didn't I? I wish I had any good greentext for you, but I don't particularly enjoy them so I don't collect them. Good luck with your butt pains

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:15:42 No.2149197 Report

Quoted By: >>2149205 >>2149206

>>2149188
I'll have to put fucking ass patches every day for a week
if the pain doesn't stop I'll have to go to the hospital

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:17:00 No.2149203 Report

Quoted By: >>2149212

>>2149186
I have to admit I laughed

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:wazDABgm Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:17:09 No.2149205 Report

Quoted By: >>2149215

>>2149197
How long have you been sitting for this to happen? Does your chair not have cushions?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:GMrRfo2M Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:17:34 No.2149206 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149197
> be italy
> have cancer of the ass

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1496694455004s.jpg, 2KiB, 125x76

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:17:52 No.2149208 Report

Quoted By: >>2149218

>>2149163
>me in screencab

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FDd6Gi92 Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:18:10 No.2149211 Report

Quoted By: >>2149228

>>2149139
> be me
> first day at school
> meet a old rival
> he dose not talk to me for the whole day
> end of the lesson
> he pushes me with his aids radiating arms
> i push back
> kid flies in to the wall
> " do not fucking touch me again or ill have a attempted murdure charge on my hands you filthy animal "
> kid laughs
> " try me bitch "
> rival says what you gonna do you have no balls
> " say no balls i dare you "
> Rival " no balls pussy "
> i go ape shit
> start to play doom 16 music in my head
> beat the living shit out of him
> teacher is sitting enjoying his coffe
> kid in backround says " thats awsome "
> i look at the kid
> " if you dont turn around your next "
> kid runs away
> " Dont hit me ! "
> i stare
> i enjoy the power rush i feel.
> go home
> next day.
> Rival is at the hospital. He has head trauma and is in a medical coma
> Police knock on the door.
> " This is the police open the door "
> i look cop dead in the eye.
> i tell him " say no balls i dare you "
> " no balls pussy :D "
> beat him to.
> go to court
> say to everyone in court " say no balls i dare you all "
> everyone shouts " NO BALLS PUSSY "
> beat everyone in court. This time i play Killing floor 2 music in my head.
> get shot
> die.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:w74J0AaQ Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:18:11 No.2149212 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149203
she should have had a Somalis accent for max immersion

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:18:45 No.2149215 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149205
probably too much
it has cushions but I don't know
it's the first time it ever happened to me

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zLA/afR+ Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:19:16 No.2149218 Report

Quoted By: >>2149228

>>2149208
You made it didn't you?
Thanks again.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:19:34 No.2149222 Report

Quoted By: >>2149227 >>2149228

>>2149186
>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /b/
> a few months later i get a cuck fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a big black dude
>looks like a football player
>arrange meeting
>go to his house
>rich neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"ay yo whats good white boi"
>he has a manly, deep voice
>pretty deep
>said to him i have a fetish to be cucked
>he takes this to heart
>he makes my gf suck his dick
>he makes me get fucked in the ass
>his big 12-inch cock right up my ass
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:20:38 No.2149227 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149222
I don't even have a GF

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1178.png, 148KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:20:50 No.2149228 Report

Quoted By: >>2149237 >>2149263

>>2149211
Pic related is somewhat similar
>>2149218
No probs
>>2149222
Unoriginal but nice trips

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FDd6Gi92 Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:22:54 No.2149237 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149228
Oh shit, I've never seen that greentext. But the first part of the story is actually real. Not that dramatic but I did beat the living shit out of him. ( the old rival at school )

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:25:20 No.2149251 Report

Quoted By: >>2149256

I have a cock-block greentext and a gay greentext.
Which one first, senpai?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TKlOxdmt Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:25:35 No.2149252 Report

Quoted By: >>2149302

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /b/
> a few months later i get a scat fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a big black dude
>looks like a football player
>arrange meeting
>go to his house
>rich neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"ay yo whats good white boi"
>he has a manly, deep voice
>pretty deep
>said to him i have a fetish to be cucked
>he takes this to heart
>he makes my gf suck his dick
>he makes me get fucked in the dirty ass
>his big 12-inch cock right up my dirty ass
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:25:54 No.2149256 Report

Quoted By: >>2149278

>>2149251
let's see the cock-block first I guess

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:27:13 No.2149263 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149228
>be me
>20 years old
>going on blacked.com
>start to browse videos
> a few months later i get a cucking fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a pussy ass white boi
>looks like a little bitch
>arrange meeting
>go to his house
>suburban neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"hey there stud"
>his gf is a 5'0" blonde
>pretty cute
>said to her i have a fetish to cuck white bois
>she takes this to heart
>she starts sucking my dick
>she makes me fuck her in the ass
>her bfs 3-inch cock dangling in chastity
>go home
>laugh
>"what have white bois become"
>go on blacked.com
>upload video
>everybody in comments section congratulates me
her ass probably hurts and she probably can't sit well
can you post some funny white boi stories to help me laugh at white bois?
thanks in advance.

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1189.png, 122KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:29:32 No.2149278 Report

Quoted By: >>2149283

>>2149256
Its a 3 part image greentext
1

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1190.png, 139KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:30:04 No.2149283 Report

Quoted By: >>2149295

>>2149278
2

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1191.png, 116KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:31:03 No.2149295 Report

Quoted By: >>2149309

>>2149283
I just realized that he was friendzoned and cockblocked rather then just cockblocked.
3

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:32:11 No.2149302 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149252
>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /mlp/
> a few months later i get a clopping fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a cowboy
>looks like a pretty rough dude
>arrange meeting
>go to his ranch
>huge pastures
>knock on barn door
>"Howdy Pardner"
>he has a manly southern drawl
>pretty deep
>said to him I would like to view his horses
>he takes this to heart
>he shows me his prize horses
>when he's not looking I start fucking one up the ass
>he walks back in and finds me, then shoves a cattle prod up my ass
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:32:52 No.2149309 Report

Quoted By: >>2149318

>>2149295
Wow.

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1175.png, 149KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:34:07 No.2149318 Report

Quoted By: >>2149322

>>2149309
Now for the gay greentext :D
1

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1176.png, 126KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:34:33 No.2149322 Report

Quoted By: >>2149338

>>2149318
2

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1177.png, 120KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:36:06 No.2149338 Report

Quoted By: >>2149340 >>2149347

>>2149322
3
I jist did some dugging in my folder and found some psychopath greentexts.
Dump them?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:36:31 No.2149340 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149338
go for it my dude

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:37:10 No.2149347 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149338
*just
*digging

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:38:04 No.2149351 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /r9k/
> a few months later i need to get a gf i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a qt3.14
>looks like a pretty girl
>arrange meeting
>go to her house
>shitty neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"hey buddy!"
>she has a cute voice
>pretty adorable
>said to her i need a gf
>she takes this to heart
>she tells me wants to be friends
>she makes me watch chick flicks with her platonically
>she laughs at all my advances
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my feels hurts and I want to kill myself
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1104.png, 124KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:38:45 No.2149358 Report

Quoted By: >>2149388 >>2149427

A guy gets revenge on a bully for bullying his brother

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1105.png, 130KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:39:49 No.2149370 Report

Quoted By: >>2149388

A bunch of autistic shit anon did as a kid
Also shit grammar

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photos from iPhone 1106.png, 122KiB, 640x960

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:40:53 No.2149380 Report

Quoted By: >>2149388

Anon kills kittens because of niggers
Thats it, the rest of the images i have in my folder are screencaps.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:41:49 No.2149388 Report

Quoted By: >>2149408

>>2149358
>>2149370
>>2149380
those were disturbing :c

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zLA/afR+ Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:42:25 No.2149397 Report

Quoted By: >>2149427

I found out that yesterday, the autistic son of one of my friends ate some fiberglass insulation, complete with the foil. What's the likely outcome of ingesting this poor substitute for cotton candy?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:42:50 No.2149401 Report

Quoted By: >>2149415

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /fit/
> a few months later i start going to the gym
>go to gym
>find a bench
>looks like a pretty solid structure
>assume position
>start lifting
>can't lift
>chad walks up
>"whats good bro?"
>he sounds like he is on roids
>pretty strong
>said to him I am trying to lift weights
>he takes this to heart
>he starts insulting me
>hahaha DYEL bro?
>he makes me leave in shame
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my gains hurts and I can't make it
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:43:26 No.2149408 Report

Quoted By: >>2149418

>>2149388
Im sorry but i havent really updated my greentext folder for a while.
Go search for greentext narrations on YouTube or go visit /r9k/ for greentexts.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:43:51 No.2149415 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149401
how many more can you do damn

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:44:34 No.2149418 Report

Quoted By: >>2149427

>>2149408
gonna go to /r9k/ then to search for greentexts
keep shitposting here if you want

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo

Stephen The Rapist !aIcRGTDPzo ID:gQPKEpMy Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:46:15 No.2149427 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149397
Most likely what happended to the kids: >>2149358
>>2149418
Nah im good, jabroni.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:48:06 No.2149442 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /pol/
> a few months later i hate the jews i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a Nazi meetup
>looks like a pretty big crowd
>arrange meeting
>go to the gathering
>shitty neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"deus vult my brother"
>they look like they're all on meth
>pretty scared
>said to them i hate the jews
>they take this to heart
>they make me curb stomp a black man
>they make me rob a Jewish store owner
>they congratulate me by tattooing a big swastika on my chest
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my chest hurts and I can't get this tattoo off
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 16:53:33 No.2149489 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /adv/
> a few months later i get a psychology fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a qt psychologist
>looks like a professional man
>arrange meeting
>go to his house
>above average neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"greetings, fellow psychology enthusiast"
>he dosen't have a manly voice at all
>pretty flamboyant
>said to him i have a fetish to be psycho analyzed
>he takes this to heart
>he asks me how I feel
>he asks me about my family
>his big metaphorical 8-inch cock right in my mind
>go home
>feel better
>"I have become a better person"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my mind feels great and I have newfound motivation
can you post some funny greentext stories to keep the mood going?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:nzk//gVp Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:00:37 No.2149551 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /trash/
> a few months later i get a every fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a Sexual scaly furry brony trap
>looks like a pretty fox
>arrange meeting
>go to her house
>pretty neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"I want to have quick sex in your pony suit "
>she doesn't have a girly voice at all
>pretty high
>said to her i have a fetish that i want to get rid of
>she takes this to heart and *bone*
>she makes me suck her dick
>she makes me fuck her suit and sucks my dick
>after that her big 9-inch cock right up my ass
>go home
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go on 4chan
>go on /bant/
>good afternoon /bant/
my ass hurts and I can't sit well
can you post some funny greentext stories to cheer me up?
thanks in advance.
>Goes on /r9k/
>Goes back to craigslist

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MjD4xlLp Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:00:51 No.2149555 Report

Quoted By: >>2149626

>be me
>20 years old
>going on 4chan
>start to browse /bant/
> a few months later i get a copypasta fetish i just can't help it
>go on craigslist
>find a new laptop
>looks like an asus
>arrange meeting
>go to sellers house
>decent neighborhood
>ring doorbell
>"I have the computer you were looking for"
>computer doesn't have a scratch on it at all
>pretty good shape
>said to seller that I will purchase it
>she takes my cash
>immediately start shitposting
>find thread about some faggot OP with a sore ass
>find an exploitable copypasta and repost different variations
>everybody ignores it
>cry
>"what have i become"
>go off 4chan
>go off /bant/
>good afternoon real life
my ego hurts and I can't really shitpost
can you have something fun for me to do today?
thanks in advance.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:09:02 No.2149626 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149555
you magnificent faggot

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 114331.jpg, 65KiB, 640x681

Anonymous ID:YIcCPFJ6 Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:17:02 No.2149679 Report

Quoted By: >>2149697 >>2149713

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vv2BSAzp Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:20:29 No.2149697 Report

Quoted By: >>2149712

>>2149679
thank you anon

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:nzk//gVp Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:22:29 No.2149712 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149697
>Be me
>Be Italian cuck
>Eat pasta
>Get food poisoning

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FpDvQvrf Wed 13 Sep 2017 17:22:29 No.2149713 Report

Quoted By:

>>2149679
You're so pretty :)

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