>>21507842Yeah because you're trans.
It's very clear that what you're looking for is reasons not to accept that you have feelings which aren't normal, because the ways you've been suppressing those feelings (notably philosophical stoicism) are no longer effective.
This is common. The disease is progressive, it gets worse as you get older. You being intelligent were able to maintain a male persona through scheer willpower, but as that persona has become more complicated with age the willpower required is beginning to exceed even your impressive capabilities. There are about a dozen or so trannies on /tttt/ who tell that exact story.
So you can continue in the farce of pretending to be a man, but the stress of doing so will render you increasingly unable to function in society. Given your presence here and the time and duration of that presence it's unlikely you have a stable romantic relationship, you're likely unemployed or marginally employed, your circle of friends IRL has dwindled to a mere handful, or perhaps none at all.
You have also likely considered harming and others on more than one occasion.
That's what untreated gender dysphoria looks like.
