There is no clear distinction between male-female relations and mother- son relations,' says Dr Saito. 'Japanese males are always mixing these two: they want to assert their sexuality, but at the same time they want to be held by their mothers - warm, safe, secure.'
An American woman teaching English in Tokyo was recently presented with an extraordinarily candid confession by one of her male students. She thinks it was precisely because she was a foreigner that the man chose to open up to her.
The student, in his early twenties, was receiving private English conversation tuition from the American woman who in the course of one lesson asked him about his mother. The student fell silent, looked out of the window, and suddenly burst into tears.
After some time he calmed down, and, with little further prompting, began to talk about an experience eight years before. It was during his final year at school, when he was immersed in the 'examination hell' that demands long hours of study, cram schools and demonic dedication from those who want to get into a good university. One day he was offered, and received, sexual favours from his mother to encourage him to persevere with his schoolwork. Afterwards he felt crushing guilt, although he came to suspect that something similar had happened to at least one of his classmates. But he had never before spoken directly about it.
