>>21719523I sit alone at home on my day off, listening to the news—reports of Syria’s fall, ongoing wars, and the rumours of wars. In the quiet, I wrestle with my flesh, grappling with the internal conflict over my struggle with pornography and masturbation. As a Christian, I reflect deeply on this struggle, aware that many others face it too. Am I a bad person for indulging in this within the privacy of my home? Perhaps. But deep down, I know it’s not so simple.
I consider human nature—the truth that man was not created to be alone—yet here I am, living in a society that often feels indifferent toward me. Loneliness exacerbates the conflict, especially in an era where technology places temptation at our fingertips. Unlike the baby boomer generation, which grew up with limited access to such content, we live in an age where the internet has made it ubiquitous. Back then, accessing pornography required courage and risk; today, it demands little more than a casual tap on a screen. If pornography is such a great evil, then who bears the blame: the individual consuming it, or the society that normalises it?
As I reflect, I sense a deeper issue: a lack of compassion in the world. Why are we so quick to judge, to shame, to tear each other down? Is this not a great offence to God? We all share the same fragile humanity, alive by the miracle of life itself. Yet, instead of extending grace, we often act selfishly, guarding ourselves at the expense of others.
This realisation saddens me. Part of me longs for the best for everyone, yet I admit I’m often afraid of people. Everyone seems so focused on their own interests, and perhaps I am no different. But my desire is to rise above selfishness, to live with love and selflessness. I sense deep within me that the world is not as it should be. There’s a brokenness in it—and in me—that longs for healing.
