every day i see hundreds of girls that look like this, barely above average pretty plain just cute girls
since the youngest age (literally kindergarten) i always knew that i'm not like anyone else, i could never connect with anyone, very soon i realized that i will never be like other and that i'll never have friends
years went by and i could never do anything i wanted
i wanted to play video games but i never had any console or pc that oculd run them i so for probably like 15 years i had to watch other people on youtube play games and daydream about actually playing them
i was literally doing nothing every day for way over a decade, i never met any friends, never did any sports i just went home and lurked the internet
my mind only reaches back to when i was around 11-12 and even at the time i knew that i was always the smartest person in the room and that i had tons of talent and potential but by that time i had already enough experience and knowledge to know that i will never amount to nothing
i knew that in 10 years i will live the same shitty life that i had always lived and that nothing's going to change because it never did
i was right
my teenage years considered by most the peak of life went by and i am living the exact same life i was living 10 years ago, i may be a bit smarter, but even at the time i knew almost everything, i am the exact same person, i have not changed in the slightest, i am even the same height i was at 11, my beliefs havent changed, my goals remain untouched, i have not "grown" mentally, my interests never matured, i was already an old man when i was in elementary school. between 14-19 nothing happened. i cant recall almost anything. ive literally done nothing, i jacked off to the same porn, i knew that i will do nothing and nothing will change, i knew that i will never be able to socialize, that i will never feel the touch of a woman, that people are repulsed by me