Are you actually, diagnosably, untreatably, mentally ill? Perhaps instead you have invented this "mental illness" as something you can claim victimhood from, shielding you from the painful task of accepting your own culpability in making mistakes. Therefore you fail to truly learn from them, repeating them again and again, which just further reinforces this fantasy that you're insane, excusing ever escalating poor behaviour. Your actions don't happen to you, you make and are responsible for them, don't forget that. Getting it wrong is not the same thing as mental illness. Mental illness is something you can't control, I feel for you if that's really what you have - but maybe it isn't. Maybe you are sane, able to take control over your own behaviour, you're just too comfortable not accepting responsibility and therefore artificially, not inherently, unable to truly assume real control, and make truly meaningful changes to your life. Don't put the responsibility of your actions on something abstract and unimpeachable like vague "mental illness," but own up to them, only then can you make a meaningful difference to your life. If you truly are mentally ill, seek a diagnosis and then treatment. Either way, your life is your responsibility, if you are a victim then you are one only to yourself, which is a victimhood which does not relieve you from responsibility but rather demands it even more.
