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I find myself to be in a similar situation to Rick. Not in that I am a pickle, but that I view myself and my intelligence as both an unstoppable force and an inescapable curse. (I know, I'm an arrogant asshole. Feel free to ignore me.) I love being able to predict things around me and control my own little world to some extent, but at the same time I'm incredibly bored by "work" that I feel is beneath my abilities and desires. In some cases, especially when the "work" is really taxing on me emotionally, I would rather just die (read: escape). I do have some self-destructive tendencies, not in a suicidal sense but more in a "fuck everyone, here's the truth" sense. I would sometimes be fine with sacrificing my reputation and position in life in order to escape the boring "work" of what has become a routine, nagging on my subconscious.
The only problem is that with that approach to life I would eventually be alone and still unable to reach exactly what I want out of this world. I don't want to just be in control. Complete control is impossible anyhow; people can only be manipulated so far and reality only bends as much as my arms can handle before giving out. I'm not a god. I want more meaningful things than control anyways. I want to be loved. I want to love. I I want to discover the truth about people, about reality, and to pass that truth on to those after me so that they will be better equipped to live in this world. I want to do what most people want to do: make the world a better place. At the end of the day, being a narcissistic asshole doesn't accomplish that as effectively as I would like. Sometimes suffering through stupid shit can lead to something or someone truly worthwhile on the other side. That right there makes it worth it to accept an imperfect, shitty world instead of trying to dominate it by sheer force.
Darn you, Rick and Morty...
