Hey /bant/.
I just want to talk.
For a year or so I've been, I guess for a lack of better words, depressed. For as long as I can remember I always had the mentality that depression wasn't that bad, that all you had to do was stop thinking like you're depressed. It hurts. Every day I cry a little, not really that noticeable but my eyes will tear up and a wave of sadness and regret will overcome me. I've always had the mentality that suicide was extremely retarded and for pussies. I'm not suicidal I just dont want to be alive some times, I'd never kill myself, I hope. I've tried everything to fix this, I've tried being more active, going outside more and walking/biking, I've tried sleeping it away, I've trade playing video games day and night, I've even cut soda out of my life. I just want friends. I'm only ever happy when I'm around someone I can call friend. Everyone that I thought was my friend just left me here. I've even spent money on people I thought were my friends in an effort to keep them around, and in an effort to make new ones. I would always say "you dont have to hang out with me if you dont want to, just tell me you dont." I'd always get some shit tier lie upon lie. Ever since I was kicked out of school last year no one wants anything to do with me. I miss school. I miss being happy. Please help me.