/bant/ - International/Random

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28KiB, 328x415, plumber.jpg

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 08:30:55 No.2223046 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2223064 >>2223164 >>2223266 >>2223360 >>2223455 >>2223474 >>2224359 >>2225494

Alright faggots.

**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**

If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.

If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts. (You know.... O.C. That one thing the board is lacking)

Also general plumbing advice.

If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.

I like tits.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO blood mushrooms.png, 405KiB, 2200x968

Anonymous ID:WnfWdQhO Wed 20 Sep 2017 08:34:43 No.2223064 Report

Quoted By: >>2223078 >>2225073

>>2223046
Do you know of the blood shroom fairy?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 08:37:56 No.2223078 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223064

Lol, never heard of it. But yeah, that sounds about right. Chicks are really fucking insensitive about their tampon disposal.

nee nee

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1500974504876.jpg, 13KiB, 300x384

nee nee ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 08:57:39 No.2223164 Report

Quoted By: >>2223184

>>2223046
Is traps gay? Is waifus traps? :/

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:yH3w/xp7 Wed 20 Sep 2017 08:59:47 No.2223179 Report

Quoted By: >>2223188

Have you ever got sexual propositions?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:00:30 No.2223184 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223164

Traps are gay.

End of fucking story.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:01:07 No.2223188 Report

Quoted By: >>2223191 >>2224369

>>2223179

No, but one time I came very close...

Greentext engaged.

>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is anon, you called a plumber?
>Yes anon, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story anon, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend anon?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not anon? You're an ATTRACTIVE man, you're obviously very PROFESSIONAL and STRONG...
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE anon! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY ANON! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.

Dick is now rock hard.

Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:01:32 No.2223191 Report

Quoted By: >>2223196

>>2223188

>Anon, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok anon, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette anon?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry anon, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So anon... How about that cigarette?

Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:01:58 No.2223196 Report

Quoted By: >>2223244 >>2223259 >>2223269

>>2223191

>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So anon... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much anon.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well anon, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen anon... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......anon....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries anon! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't anon, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:6MkSYMhk Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:09:20 No.2223244 Report

Quoted By: >>2223254

>>2223196
That's some hardcore blueballing right there, my condolences.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:11:49 No.2223254 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223244

Thankyou Brave Anon.

Your generosity has been checked.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:yH3w/xp7 Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:12:56 No.2223259 Report

Quoted By: >>2223298

>>2223196

What the fuck, that sucks for her, but she didn't have to tease your cock. What's the weirdest job you've had?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BnmaV6H+ Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:14:05 No.2223266 Report

Quoted By: >>2223299

>>2223046
Alright when is the last time you pulled a dildo out of a toilet?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0R0AIKj1 Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:14:26 No.2223269 Report

Quoted By: >>2223305

>>2223196
Ah holy shit.

What was the most dirsturbing thing you have found in a blocked pipe?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:19:36 No.2223298 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223259

I have remembered indeed the weirdest place I've been. Not sure if it's even worth a greentext because it wasn't eventful enough, so here's the deal, even if shit greentext.

> Be me.
> Be apprentice.
> Old man gets called into job.
> "We need you to replace copper line in factory"
> "No worries cunt"
> Walk into factory.
> first thing that we see is BIG motherfucking lion staring us down.
> At least 7ft lion, just staring at us, jaw open.
> I have mini heart attack.
> Old man was 6ft
> Even he has mini hearty.
> Notice some chick brushing his fur with a paint brush.
> I shit you not.noshit
> Look sideways.
> 10ft tall giant crouching
> Head size of a beachball.
> Fucking thing looks like hoggle from dark crystal
> Look to right.
> Some pixie looking thing painting a log.
> Dressed in overalls.
> Human but looks like actual pixie.

MFW we had walked into the costume, wardrobe, props and PUPPET department of the yet to be released "Lion Witch and the Wardrobe" stage theatre, yet to be released, only to pull up to be one of the biggest aussie masterrace shows to ever hit the stage.

Shit continued on to broadway.

MFW the fag who asked as to do the job asked us not to take pictures and my fucking old man cuntblocked me every tried to take one, and cockblocked me every time I tried to chat up the pixie...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:19:59 No.2223299 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223266

Never.

Waste of dubs.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:20:44 No.2223305 Report

Quoted By: >>2223309

>>2223269

> Be me
> Be called into caravan sale place of all joints.
> Caravan sales place is owned by friend of my father.
> Caravan sales place guy is also a plumber, can't fix own problems? WTF?
> Get to front reception
> "Hi, I am Plum/b/anon, I am here to fix problem."
> "Ok plumbanon, go ahead..."
> ....you autistic bitch...
> "What is the problem?"
> Consult with about 5 different ladies in office
> Not one of them has a clue.
> Call the owner
> "Oh right, the toilet won't flush"
> "...Yeah, it's kinda been like that for about a month now..."
> MFW they couldn't figure out what problem a plumber could be coming to attend after a month of not being able to flush the toilet properly.
Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:21:19 No.2223309 Report

Quoted By: >>2223315

>>2223305

> Check toilet.
> Clogged as fuck.
> Open inspection point at back.
> Overflows with murky sewer water.
> Herewefuckinggo.avi
> Pull out sewer machine.
> Set up sewer machine.
> Send sewer machine down line.
> End of the hook comes back fucking COVERED in tampons.
> Look around.
> Entire area covered in gravel.
> Nowhere to discreetly hide or bury tampons.
> Fuck it.
> Grab bucket, remove tampons, send hook down again.
> Blockage not moving.
> Retrieve more tampons.
> Some of them are still fresh and bloody.
Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0R0AIKj1 Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:21:52 No.2223314 Report

Quoted By: >>2223319 >>2223343

Also I need some advice. How to remove gunk and hair and shit from my shower outlet? I don't really want to scoop that shit out with my hand

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:21:57 No.2223315 Report

Quoted By: >>2223328 >>2223343

>>2223309

> Retrive more fucking tampons.
> About an hour passes, pulling out nothing but fucking tampons.
> Finally clear line.
> Flush with hose.
> Pack up gear.
> Walk into office.
> Ladies ask "What was problem?"
> "Sanitary napkins"
> Blankfuckingstares.winmov
> "Tampons..."
> It's like the choir all learned to sing at once.
> "Oh well it's not me!"
> "Oh it certainly isn't me!"
> "No, I'm too old!"
> Office space consisting of entirely 6 women.
> Poker face engaged.
> Good employee mode soon follows.
> "Oh yes of course!" *cringing internally*
> "Yeah, look it's obviously some customers who have come past and needed to use the toilet at some stage and have probably just you know, not had the right bin there etc..."
> Alpha of the dumb pipes up
> "BUT THE CUSTOMERS NEVER USE OUR TOILET!!!"
> All eyes on dumbus cunticus.
> Air freezes
> Literally 30 seconds of silence passes.
> "Oh, I mean... Yes! Yes that must be it!"
> Office motion goes back to normal, yet with red scowling faces.
Final tally of tampons.
Three quarters of a fucking bucket's worth...

But "It wasn't me..."

Bitches be liars.

nee nee

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nee nee ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:22:04 No.2223316 Report

Quoted By: >>2223324

What happened to spideys on /b/?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:22:30 No.2223319 Report

Quoted By: >>2223328

>>2223314

Get a plunger.

If that fails, wear gloves.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:23:34 No.2223324 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223316

Oh they're still used to derail certain particular threads, usually by a glorious samefag.

But the problem is now most of /b/'s posts are so fucking shit that it's just not worth hijacking them all.

Even /bant/ has turned kinda sour now, and is suffering from a large amount of samefaggery.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1504738097851.jpg, 102KiB, 768x1024

Anonymous ID:0R0AIKj1 Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:24:20 No.2223328 Report

Quoted By: >>2223345

>>2223315
That's fucking disgusting.

>>2223319
Okay then. Thank you, here's some tits

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO images (14).jpg, 14KiB, 263x192

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:26:27 No.2223337 Report

Quoted By: >>2223348

Do you have some good old /b/ thread dumps?
Or some nostalgia story?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:yH3w/xp7 Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:27:16 No.2223343 Report

Quoted By: >>2223357

>>2223314

Coat hanger

>>2223315

Why the fuck do dumb cunts flush tampons

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:27:29 No.2223345 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223328

Those are indeed glorious tits! Thankyou! :D

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:27:55 No.2223348 Report

Quoted By: >>2223427

>>2223337

Got a heap, want me to start a new thread?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:29:29 No.2223357 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223343

Because they're too precious to fucking deal with their own fucking issues.

Like seriously, yeah it's disgusting, but so is wiping your arse right? You just do it because you have to.

Not these precious little princesses. Nope it's fucking YANK on the ripcord, and the fucking thing hits the water without them even having to look at it.

Even when they have disposal bins right fucking next to them.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BieOOBUN Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:30:24 No.2223360 Report

Quoted By: >>2223366

>>2223046
What was the worst leak you had to repair? Ever worked in a knee deep water in some basement.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:32:06 No.2223366 Report

Quoted By: >>2223373 >>2223578

>>2223360

Get comfy.

> Be me
> Be working at army barracks
> Army barracks is size of city block but mostly grassland.
> Massive leak on grassy hill.
> Be called in to check out leak.
> Supervisor is from fucking corporate wank company
> Supervisor is corporate wanker.
> Supervisor is also arrogant foreign fuck who does not listen.
> Supervisor is now known as "Rogan Josh" due to smell of clothes, breath and fucking attitude.
> Rogan Josh says "There is a leak here, fix it"
> Well RJ, the leak is showing here, but this is the lowest point of ground, let me check further back to see if leak is back further.
> "NO!! LEAK IS HERE!! YOU DIG HERE!!
> *rolleyes.fuckingmoron*
> Alright.
> Retrive shovel.
> Start digging.
> RJ is barking at me the whole time.
> "WHY YOU NOT FIND LEAK? DIG FURTHER".
> Grind teeth down to fucking gums.
> Listen RJ, this is the LOWEST POINT of ground, the leak could be ANYWHERE on the higher plains.
> NO NO NO NO NO, YOU DIG
> Look RJ, we'll be better off getting a leak detector.
> NO NO NO NO NO, YOU DIG
> *teeth shattered, grinding gums*
> Alright, we'll need to get an excavator then
> FINE FINE FINE WE GET EXCAVATOR.

Cunt was too stupid to spend 300 bucks getting a leak detector to find the problem, so he hires a 600 dollar a day excavator for me to keep digging where he insists the problem is.

Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:33:14 No.2223373 Report

Quoted By: >>2223384 >>2223578

>>2223366

> Excavator arrives.
> Excavator operator is a cool dude.
> Turns out he is ex army.
> Used to be in sniper div.
> "Fuck this army base, this is full of all the fuckin' nerds, we used to push these cunts around, our superiors used to encourage it!"
> For real?
> Fuck yeah, these cunts are choco soldiers. We used to walk up to them and say "Where do we know you from? Aren't you in the army reserves?
> And they'd say "Yeah"
> And we'd say "Oh yeah? The new S.A.S. yeah?
> And they'd go "Yeah!" and get this big fuckoff grin on their face....
> S.A.S. HUH??? SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS YA FUCKIN' IDIOTS!!!"
> Delivery guy was not a faggot.
> So onwards I dig.
> I spend 2 days digging backwards and backwards from this fucking hill like a fucking idiot.
> Enjoying the fuck out of myself mind you, driving a mini excavator is like playing with a great big tonka toy.
> However my fun was interrupted nearly every fucking hour by Rogan Josh coming in and demanding why the fuck I hadn't found the fucking leak yet.
> And by me reminding him that if we'd have got a fucking leak detector in the first place rather than wasting my time digging up shit that didn't need digging we'd have saved about 900 bucks by now.
> By this stage, RJ had "got really sick of my attitude" and called in the boss.
> Boss comes in, doesn't tell me off really, boss was a great guy. But he jumped on the digger.
> Boss hits metal pipe.
> Rogan Josh practically cheers with self congratulatory victory.
> "I FUCKING TOLD YOU!!! I FUCKING TOLD YOU!!!

cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:34:25 No.2223384 Report

Quoted By: >>2223388 >>2223578

>>2223373

> Boss is not fag.
> While Rogan Josh is fucking practically doing a happy dance about how right he is, bossman quietly tells us to grab shovels and dig out pipe.
> I am red with rage by this stage.
> Rogan Josh is laying it on me as thick as he can.
> I was one "I told you so" away from taking the shovel to his knees
> In steps a non faggot workmate who shall hereforth be known as "Older bloke"
> Older blokes sees the look in my eye, pulls me aside and says (with a knowing look) "You've been working hard ALL DAY plum/b/anon, why don't you go sit over there for a bit?"
> MFW older bloke probably saved me from a jail sentence.
> Sit down, have cigarette.
> Face fuming harder than lit end of cigarette.
> All of a sudden, older bloke turns around.
> Older bloke gives me not a grin, but more of a lift of the eyebrow and a nod, which indicates in older bloke speak "...wait for it".
> Older bloke digs a bit more.
> Out of nowhere, older bloke exclaims "I'VE FOUND THE PIPE!!! I'VE FOUND THE PIPE!!! YOU CAN SEE THE LEAK RIGHT HERE!!!
> At this point I am ready to murder older bloke.
> Older bloke gives me a knowing look.
> Despite my anger, I see that older bloke has something in store.

cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:35:04 No.2223388 Report

Quoted By: >>2223396 >>2223578

>>2223384

> Older bloke loudly declares he has found leak.
> Rogan Josh practically breaks the sound barrier running up to find his victory spoils.
> GET OUT, GET OUT, LET ME LOOK!
> Older bloke steps back.
> Rogan josh now gets a good look at the freshly located leaking pipe.
> RJ looks as confused as a dumb cunt can.
> "BUT!!! BUT!!!
> By this stage, my anger is starting to flare down a bit.
> Older bloke shoots me a warning look telling me to shut up. I shut up.
> BUT!! BUT!! WHY WOULD SOMEBODY JUST LEAVE A PIPE OPEN LIKE THIS???
> I can't help myself.
> Walk outside trench.
> Jump up top.
> Look at fucking pipe.
> Pipe is old mild steel pipe variety that was used many many years ago.
> It is pissing water at the rate of a small stream.
> I realise what's happened and laugh in absolute fucking hysterics.
> The boss tells Older bloke "It's lunchtime, go get Plum/b/anon some lunch"
> This is tradie speak for "Get that faggot out of here before he loses us this fucking contract".
> Older bloke drags me away (in the opposite direction to the lunch area), sits me down out of earshot, gives me a cigarette, lights it, and says simply "you understand now?"

Bless that bastard.

I understood clearly after that, which is why I was laughing at that RJ bastard.

That pipe was an old pipe.

The burst was underground somewhere.

But that satisfaction that RJ felt about finally "finding" that pipe that he knew was there, meant that the old pipe had been there forever.

And the actual burst was at the OTHER end of that pipe.

Which could be ANYWHERE in the vicinity of a city block.

Which means he'd have to do what I suggested in the first place and hire a pipe locator.

Not.

Even.

Finished.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:36:39 No.2223396 Report

Quoted By: >>2223404 >>2223578

>>2223388

> Rogan Josh fires up hotter than the hottest curry.
> Hemad.jpg.
> Can see him boiling over and screaming at boss, and boss placating him.
> I chew down 3 cigarettes in this time, rage is over, am only feeling euphoria.
> Boss rolls up to talk to me.
> "RJ is not happy with you Plum/b/anon.
> Well fucking GOOD, he should have just got the fucking pipe locater like I fucking told him in the first fuckin place.
> Boss goes silent.
> Uhhh, what?
> .....what do you mean what?
> ...... he's just been screaming at me that he could have saved a lot of money if you'd have got a pipe locater out in the first place
> Euphoria gone.
> Red rage engaged.
> I cleared half that fucking field before being tackled by both the boss and Older bloke.
> Nope, nope, nope, it's ok, nope, calm down, I get it, I get it, hang on, I'll sort it out.
> Boss is good bloke.
> SIT DOWN MATE
> Older bloke had a fucking authority about him when it was needed.
> Forcibly sat me down and shoved a cigarette in my mouth. And so I sat there for a few hours until I calmed down.

Boss came back some time later, informed me that the pipe chaser had been organised, and (whispered) that'll sort the bastard out

Boss was truly not a faggot.

cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:37:46 No.2223404 Report

Quoted By: >>2223408 >>2223578

>>2223396

> Fast forward two days, pipe chaser is organised.
> Fucks around using sound device trying to cover a fucking football oval worth of ground to try and find a leak point, cannot find.
> Finally puts sound emitter on gal pipe and traces it back about 100 meters

For those who don't understand pipe chasers, it involves ultra high frequency microphones. Anybody who has put a doctor's stethoscope in their ears and screamed, that's effectively a sparrow's fart compared to the power of these things.

> Alright Plum/b/anon, I'm going to put the microphone here, stay still, don't move.
> Couldn't help myself.
> I let rip with a fart that shook the very foundations of creation.
> "PLUM/B/ANON, I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOV..... PWOOOOAAARRR!!!"

Work did not commence for a few minutes.

Sides were in orbit.

cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:38:52 No.2223408 Report

Quoted By: >>2223414 >>2223578

>>2223404

> Work continues.
> I am pulled off job because Rogan Josh has cracked the shits something fierce.
> Work on other jobs for 3 days.
> Apprentice and labourer have dug where pipe chaser told them to dig.
> Have not found problem.
> Rogan josh is going as red as an RJ possibly can.
> Boss finally calls me back.
> Hole is filling with water continually.
> Have had to hire a pump to pump it out when not digging.
> More money on top of all the money RJ could have saved if the smarmy cunt had just listened to me in the first place.
> "Alright Plum/b/anon, enough of that, we need to find a solution to this and fast, things are going downhill".
> Well alright, you've got a trench full of water here, and a clear trench there, how about we just dig out that little bit of dirt and let it all run out the trench rather than pumping it out all the time?
> Boss gives that look of "Why didn't I think of that"
> Dig it out.
> Water floods like river.
> Washes out the rest of the dirt.
> There's the fucking burst right there.
> Everybodycheers.gif
> Boss pipes up
> "Alright, I'm going to call RJ
> Rage face engaged.
> DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, LET'S FIX THIS FIRST
> Boss gives me a quiet look, and walks away and does it anyway.

Ever got that feeling where foundations are crumbling? That was the feeling I got.

I wasn't wrong.

cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:40:21 No.2223414 Report

Quoted By: >>2223423 >>2223578

>>2223408

> Wellllllllll, up comes fucking Rogan Josh.
> WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WHY HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING FIXED THIS ALREADY WHAT THE...
> It appeared the boss had already set this up with the labourer and the apprentice because they were both dragging me the other way by this stage, laughing like it was some funny joke.
> Cunts weren't even decent enough to offer me a cigarette.
> Anyways, turns out the pipe had been burst long ago, had since been cut, and diverted so that the old pipe was left in place, and the new pipe kicked out in a diff direction, I'm going to try and demonstrate in the faggiest 4chins version I can.

Old pipe
l
l /
l /
/
/
l
l

New pipe

Cont

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:42:21 No.2223423 Report

Quoted By: >>2223428 >>2223578

>>2223414

So if you could decipher that shit, the old pipe had been cut, and the new pipe had been diverted past it.

> RJ jumps in " WE NEED THIS FIXED NOW, AND BY NOW I MEAN YESTERDAY!!!"
> One of my biggest pet hates is somebody who says they need it fixed yesterday.
> "No worries RJ, I'll just WAVE MY FUCKING MAGIC WAND SHALL I???"
> Mobbed by apprentice an labourer again, fucking traitors.
> Boss: "Yep yep yep, no worries RJ we'll have this sorted by the end of the day
> Pipe is blueline pressure pipe, 100mm.
> Not your average shit, it's pushfit. It relies on rubber seals.
> Dig under, cut it, push fit it using six foot crowbars, drive 4 foot steel pickets as deep in the soil as we can and line the bastard with concrete.
> "Righto" Says the boss "Now we just need to let it set and we're good to go"
> That would be the logical course right?
> It would have worked too.
> If it wasn't for that meddling RJ.

cont.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1503013644233.jpg, 1MiB, 1920x1281

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:42:56 No.2223427 Report

Quoted By: >>2223431

>>2223348
Yes please!
I love old threads :D

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:43:20 No.2223428 Report

Quoted By: >>2223434 >>2223578

>>2223423

Somebody's gonna need to bump with tits soon or this will 404 because it's only me posting.

> Well, old RJ the fucking mastermind genius graduate of fucking mensa walks back in again.
> "WE NEED THIS WATER BACK ON"
> "LISTEN MATE....
> Boss shuts me up with a wave of the hand.
> Alright, I'll shut up for now.
> Boss chats with him for a while, says we can't put it back on because the concrete needs to dry, it's pushfit etc.
> "NO NO NO, THIS WATER GOES TO THE OFFICERS QUARTERS, THEY NEED THE WATER BACK ON NOW!!!"
> My teeth have been ground down beyond my gums, my gums have been ground down beyond my skull. All that is left to grind is the soggy flesh from the bottom of my chin and whatever is left of the top of my skull after having it continuously chewed out by this FUCKING IDIOT.
> "NO!!! IT IS NOT GOING TO THE OFFICERS QUARTERS, IT'S GOING TO THE ***OLD*** FUCKING ***CEREMONIAL*** OFFICERS QUARTERS THAT ARE NO LONGER IN USE!!!"
> He looks at the boss.
> The boss looks at me with a death glare.
> I get the hint and storm the fuck away.
> He continues harpying at the boss
> "THAT IS A CEREMONIAL SPACE, THEY MUST STAY THERE OVERNIGHT" etc.
> Boss knows he is lying.
> WE MUST TURN THE WATER ON
> We can't turn the water on.
> NO WE MUST TURN THE WATER ON
> We can't turn the water on.
> ALRIGHT WE JUST CRACK IT OPEN A LITTLE BIT.
> Good guy boss caves.

cont

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:44:01 No.2223431 Report

Quoted By: >>2223494

>>2223427

Alright, will finish pumping out this greentext and start a best of 4chan thread just for you brave anon.

Also how do you say "cunt' in swedish?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:44:38 No.2223434 Report

Quoted By: >>2223436 >>2223578

>>2223428

> Boss calls me over
> "Alright anon, we're turning the water back on"
> "BULLSHIT, THAT'LL BLOW THE FUCKING PIPES, THE CONCRETE'S NOT EVEN SET!!!
> In jumps fucking RJ
> NOOO NOOO NOOO NOO, WE ONLY GOING TO TURN ON THE PIPES A LITTLE BIT SO THEY CAN HAVE ENOUGH PRESSURE TO USE TOILET AND TAPS.
> NO WAY!!! FOR STARTERS THERE'S NOBODY IN THERE...
> cue back and forth endless argument over non existant people living in abandoned army house.
>cue endless arguments with fucking RJ over how if you slightly pressurise one end of the pie and it fills up, it will fully pressurise equally on both ends.
> cue the boss finally softcocking out and just telling me to crack open the fucking pipe.
> cue me fucking doing it and telling RJ in no uncertain terms "WHEN THIS BLOWS OUT, YOU'D BETTER FUCKING REMEMBER THIS"
My face when it blew out approx 4 minutes later. :D
> Rogan Josh goes as red as a man of his complexion can go.
> YOU FIX THIS, YOU FIX IT NOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE USED QUICK DRY CEMENT!!!
> Too busy laughing.
> Boss has given up by this stage.
> Just agreeing with everything RJ says.
> Next day apprentice and labourer are in with the jackhammer, busting out all the fucking concrete.
> Can't remove the fucking pickets, too deep.
> Re-force the pipes back into place.
> New fucking pickets.
> Quick dry cement.
> RJ pokes his head in again.
> "TURN THE WATER BACK ON"
> "No RJ, Give it 24 hours or we'll have another blowout.
> NO TURN IT BACK ON
> screaming match ensues.
> Apprentice and labourer are too tired by this stage to intervene.
> RJ walks off and calls boss.
> Boss returns.
> Boss turns water back on himself.
> Low pressure of course, as per RJ's demands.
> I go home.
> Phone call at 4 in the morning
> "It's burst again. Can you go shut it off?"
> "Fuck off"
> Go back to sleep
> Return in the morning.
> Boss had shut it off at 4am.
> Sends me, labourer and apprentice back again.

Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:45:51 No.2223436 Report

Quoted By: >>2223475 >>2223514 >>2223578

>>2223434

> Next day, in we go.
> RJ walks in fuming.
> Give me the death stare.
> Give it back to him tenfold.
> "PLUM/B/ANON, YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR 3 WEEKS NOW, YOU FOUND THE PIPE 3 DAYS AGO, WE NEED IT FUCKING FIXED NOW THERE ARE PEOPLE WH..."
> Viking Roar motherfucking ENGAGED.
> THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN FIXED FROM THE FUCKING START IF YOU'D HAVE JUST FUCKING LISTENED TO ME. NOW HERE'S THE FUCKING DEAL.
> I AM FIXING THIS NOW.
> THE WATER IS NOT GOING ON UNTIL I FUCKING SAY SO
> ONCE I SAY THE WATER GOES ON IT WILL GO ON AND FUCKING STAY ON
> AND THERE WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM BECAUSE ***YOU*** WON'T HAVE CAUSED IT
> NOW IF YOU'RE FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT NOT PISSING THE NON EXISTANT PEOPLE THAT DON'T ACTUALLY LIVE IN THAT FUCKING HOUSE OFF, YOU WILL FUCKING LET ME DO MY FUCKING JOB, AND ****FUCK*** ****OFF**** UNTIL IT IS FUCKING ****FIXED****.
> RJ went red rage.
> RJ opened his mouth.
> I jumped at RJ.
> I once again got tackled by the apprentice and the labourer.
> This time they were having a fucking BASTARD of a time holding me down.
> Rogan Josh went as white as his complexion could go.
> Scurried like a motherfucking gazelle.
> I stood around fuming and marching around like a fucking nutbag for the rest of the day while the apprentice and the labourer busted, reconcreted everything.

RJ politely requested I turn the water on the next day.

I refused for 2 more days "Just to be sure".

My *just to be sure* was dripping with threat.

2 days later I turned the water back on and lo and behold the problem was solved.

I spent most of my time at the furtherst army barracks from then on, presumably at RJ's request. ;)

Le end.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:hClxy55J Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:48:53 No.2223449 Report

Quoted By:

Hey!
I wanted to make this thread first!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1503118038543.png, 54KiB, 700x700

Anonymous ID:ogPLTrNf Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:49:57 No.2223455 Report

Quoted By: >>2223479

>>2223046
Do you ever climb into extra big pipes or anything?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:P9ocwxj+ Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:53:25 No.2223474 Report

Quoted By: >>2223484

>>2223046
Hey boss, my M.I.L's hot tap in the kitchen spits out this milky looking water; I'd make a joke about it looking a bit like dilluted spunk, but I'm too lazy.

This doesn't occur anywhere else in the house, so does the tap need changing? Or the pipes leading unto the tap?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BieOOBUN Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:53:29 No.2223475 Report

Quoted By: >>2223487

>>2223436
Haha nice. What a story. So that RJ fellow was basically a plumbing noon?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:54:30 No.2223479 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223455

Yeah.

Did a full Confined Spaces course just to drop into a pit via a tripod and ratchet system, when I could have simply used the ladder but the bosses were complete fuckbags who believed in "safety" except when it was inconvenient.

Corporations. Sorry, not really a greentext worthy event.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:55:24 No.2223484 Report

Quoted By: >>2223488

>>2223474

Is it a new tap?

Sometimes with new taps the strainers make these microbubbles that make the water look milky but disappear over time.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:56:26 No.2223487 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223475

Nah, he was just one of those corporate faggots that thought he knew everything about everything.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:P9ocwxj+ Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:56:43 No.2223488 Report

Quoted By: >>2223496

>>2223484
I'm told this is an older tap, so I thought it could be Limescale?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO they-can-take-our-freedom-but-th (...).jpg, 126KiB, 400x400

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:57:58 No.2223494 Report

Quoted By: >>2223499

>>2223431
>cunt
if we are talking about women hole it's "fitta"
if talking about a cunt we got many words.
try "skitstövel"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:58:44 No.2223496 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223488

Could be, can't say I've ever dealt with it.

Aus water is pretty clean.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 09:59:20 No.2223499 Report

Quoted By: >>2223521

>>2223494

Cheers.

Started that thread for you swedeanon.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1505379016519.jpg, 18KiB, 480x360

Anonymous ID:4XnGs53g Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:00:35 No.2223504 Report

Quoted By: >>2223509 >>2223537

bumpe
op if you have more stories please share

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1505378971015.jpg, 21KiB, 640x360

Anonymous ID:4XnGs53g Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:01:41 No.2223509 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223504

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:6MkSYMhk Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:03:33 No.2223514 Report

Quoted By: >>2223528

>>2223436
Sounds to me like RJ was being retarded on purpose. Maybe supervising the plumbers is easier than his usual job?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO funny-memes-normal-life-in-sweden.jpg, 187KiB, 581x750

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:04:27 No.2223521 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223499
rad!!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:05:43 No.2223528 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223514

Just your standard corporate egotist mate.

Very common in the Rogan Josh variety of person I've found.

Effectively, just love telling people what to do and want complete subservience so when it all falls apart they can blame it on subservient person.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:07:15 No.2223537 Report

Quoted By: >>2223544 >>2224316

>>2223504

>Be me
>Be apprentice
>Working for father.
>On property.
>Property so steep it is literally almost to the grade of the fucking forward space bar on your keyboard. /
>Must fix blocked sewer.
>"Alright anon" shouts father
>"Get the sewer machine out of the fuckin' truck, and fuckin' hurry up!"
>Be short skinny manlet.
>Struggle to get heavy machine out of messy car.
>Struggle to get heavy machine across steep hill.
>Drop machine, starts to roll down heavy hill.
>Old man of master fury over 9000 barrels down hill and catches machine mid roll.
>"YOU FUCKING USELESS FUCKING IDIOT!!! CAN'T YOU FUCKING DO ANYTHING??? JUST GET DOWN THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL WHERE THAT FUCKING SNIFF PIPE IS AND FUCKING LET ME KNOW WHEN IT'S FUCKING CLEAR!!!"
>"But dad how do I know...?"
>"GET A FUCKIN' MOVE ON!!!"
>Run down hill faster than speedy gonzales after a chilli festival.
>Distance between cranky old man and sewer vent pipe is longer than football field.
>Makes me feel safer
>Safety is shortlived.

Cont.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:08:02 No.2223544 Report

Quoted By: >>2223566 >>2224316 >>2225278

>>2223537

>Old man sends 10 cables down sewer.
>Each cable is 9 foot long.
>Old man 90 feet down sewer line, and not even touching 1/3 of the distance.
>All of a sudden hear old man shout
>Looks like he is in pain.
>Holding on to sewer cable for dear life.
>Whatthefuckishedoing.jpeg
>Look down stink pipe.
>Hear this strange fucking noise that almost sounded like a question, like fucking *WHOOMP???*
>See something rushing towards me at rocket speed.
>OH FUCKING FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIT!!!
>enterthematrix.gif
>Pull back just in time to see a fucking FOUNTAIN of shitty horrid water spraying out of the stink pipe into the fucking air like some fucking whale cartoon's blowhole.
>Old man is screaming at me something about how I was supposed to tell him when it had fucking cleared.
>Entire area smells like 1000 scratched arseholes.
>MFW I almost copped that entire fucking whalespout straight to the fucking face.

Fuck plumbing.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:14:31 No.2223566 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223544

Alright, I'm out

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BnmaV6H+ Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:17:18 No.2223578 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223366
>>2223373
>>2223384
>>2223388
>>2223396
>>2223404
>>2223408
>>2223414
>>2223423
>>2223428
>>2223434
>>2223436

HOLY SHIT MY SIDES

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1504956654335.gif, 6KiB, 120x131

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 10:41:00 No.2223697 Report

Quoted By:

Good thread.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1504636675689.jpg, 23KiB, 404x422

Anonymous ID:lAMaWwf3 Wed 20 Sep 2017 11:57:28 No.2224316 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223537
>>2223544

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:jJSMURlI Wed 20 Sep 2017 12:05:44 No.2224346 Report

Quoted By: >>2225875

How do i fix my toilet without calling the plumer.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:wk3pymQR Wed 20 Sep 2017 12:07:45 No.2224359 Report

Quoted By: >>2225484

>>2223046
How do I unclog the toilet when the pipe is crammed full of my gigantic American shit

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1503857392262.jpg, 39KiB, 378x485

Anonymous ID:Wlk/lF0V Wed 20 Sep 2017 12:10:05 No.2224369 Report

Quoted By: >>2225495

>>2223188
That smelly smell..

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 8ccc5a0e9f91_sf_8.jpg, 38KiB, 360x480

Anonymous ID:ybfU0BbO Wed 20 Sep 2017 12:36:22 No.2224758 Report

Quoted By:

The King needs a plumber

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aBgs8o0G Wed 20 Sep 2017 13:31:53 No.2225073 Report

Quoted By:

>>2223064
Yet another of the myriad reasons women should not be allowed in the military.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:XKdlD9l5 Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:06:46 No.2225278 Report

Quoted By: >>2225520

>>2223544
Literally a chocolate fountain, glorious.

Do you have any stories about the most seemingly "impossible-to-get-there" thing you've ever found while plumbing?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:36:09 No.2225484 Report

Quoted By:

>>2224359

Nuke it.

'murica.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 132.jpg, 30KiB, 600x599

Anonymous ID:rgwyVtTL Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:37:08 No.2225494 Report

Quoted By: >>2225501 >>2225530

>>2223046
Have you ever plumbed a benis?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO smell.jpg, 46KiB, 604x452

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:37:10 No.2225495 Report

Quoted By:

>>2224369

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO binlan.jpg, 86KiB, 775x680

Anonymous ID:AO4Lo2Pv Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:37:51 No.2225501 Report

Quoted By:

>>2225494
Have you ever plumbed a binlan?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:39:50 No.2225520 Report

Quoted By: >>2225884

>>2225278

Spoons.

I once pulled 12 spoons out of an old lady's gully trap.

She had no idea how they got there. No kids, had owned the place for 40 years.

12 fucking dessert spoons.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 14:40:23 No.2225530 Report

Quoted By: >>2225902

>>2225494

Newfag.

You do not do justice to your glorious country.

Suksivittuun.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:6MkSYMhk Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:40:22 No.2225875 Report

Quoted By:

>>2224346
Suck the clog out with a garden hose.

It's like when you steal petrol.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:XKdlD9l5 Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:42:49 No.2225884 Report

Quoted By: >>2225940

>>2225520
Spoons? 12? No kids? 40 years? Psycho Mantis?

That's cryptic as fuck. Well, do you have any stories about the shittiest homemade "plumbing" you've ever seen?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO images.duckduckgo.com.jpg, 10KiB, 249x249

Anonymous ID:o7cPH09S Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:44:21 No.2225895 Report

Quoted By: >>2225925

>le swedish nuke <3
>how we get a train set for ourselves

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO images (3).jpg, 6KiB, 225x224

Anonymous ID:rgwyVtTL Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:45:38 No.2225902 Report

Quoted By: >>2225930 >>2225947

>>2225530
HAVE YOU EVER PLUMBED A BENIS? ANSWER MY QUESTION OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE BENIS?POSTER

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:6MkSYMhk Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:49:44 No.2225925 Report

Quoted By:

>>2225895
Surströmming is the most delicious food ever.

It smells rank, but you can eat it straight from the can and it's way better than tuna.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO binlan.jpg, 86KiB, 775x680

Anonymous ID:AO4Lo2Pv Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:50:34 No.2225930 Report

Quoted By:

>>2225902
binlan

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:52:09 No.2225940 Report

Quoted By:

>>2225884

Yeah, nothing exciting sorry.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y+jiV78K Wed 20 Sep 2017 15:53:30 No.2225947 Report

Quoted By:

>>2225902

Ruumiinraiskaaj.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 22 Apr 2020 13:16:18 No.2225947,1 Report Delete

Quoted By:

I have a problem... Need to fix shower drains but don't know how. Watched some videos on youtube, but it's disgusting. Does anybody here know a nice company that works also in this crazy quarantine without any problem and 24/7? Because I can't really wait any more time, you know? My neighbor suggested me to call https://anytimeplumbing.net/about/ . I checked their website but I'm afraid I will pay too much for their service. Though they work 24/7 exactly what I need and also make everything in an hour. Don't you think that their service is overpriced? Do you have any more suggestions?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 17 Aug 2020 19:51:07 No.2225947,2 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>2225947,3

The work of a plumber is very interesting and fun, I think. True, as I understand it, you often have to dig into pipes and sewers, so I don't think this is the most enjoyable job. My friend wanted to become a plumber, but as a result, he is now working as a programmer in an office. He decided that this job wasn’t worth learning. How long have you worked as a plumber? Not long ago I had a problem with the sewerage system and I do not know what to do, the water does not flow on the second floor of the house. I don't even know what the problem might be. I was offered to use the service https://www.beastbayplumbing.com which, in theory, can help solve my problem. But I decided to ask you first. What could be the problem, why does not water flow on the second floor of the house, but flows on the first?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 06 Sep 2020 15:33:46 No.2225947,3 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>2225947,2
Personally I've got no clue how to help you. Maybe professional plumber can help you I dunno

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