/bant/ - International/Random

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Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:17:46 No.2235419 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2235482 >>2235679 >>2236869 >>2237545 >>2238179 >>2239231 >>2239306 >>2239596 >>2239695

I found this old "ad lib story builder" site I used to play on when I was a kid. Knowing the imagination of 4chan, I'll let you guys make your own fucked-up stories.

http://www.squiglysplayhouse.com/WritingCorner/StoryBuilder/

Here's the link. You do the rest of the work.

⍚ !DIAMONDof2

⍚ !DIAMONDof2 ID:jKXLOuQc Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:21:29 No.2235439 Report

Quoted By:

lol i found this game website i used to play on when i was a kid, knowing you guise, you'll probably enjoy it!

http://www.cockrapeinsideprematurevagina.com/analviriginity

here's the link, you do the rest of the work.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:26:03 No.2235456 Report

Quoted By: >>2235704

One day The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 was on a hike with his friend, Cirno. They brought their little Muslim friend Ahmed. They walked a little farther. Then behind a dildo they heard a noise. Out popped an homosexual jew. They fucked. They shat out to Mexican gardener. They ran sensually to a AK-47. Then they both said, "We will never go back there again!"

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:K/zkaOz3 Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:26:21 No.2235458 Report

Quoted By:

This is actually quite good

+rep anon

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:26:42 No.2235462 Report

Quoted By:

Once there was a man named Adolf Hitler. His girlfriend, Eva Braun, owned a pair of black shoes. She wore them all the time. In fact, they were Eva Braun's favourite shoes. She liked them so much that she even kept them on when she slept on her Lamp Shade. Eventually they began to smell like ass. Adolf Hitler was beginning not to like being around her so he called up Josef Goebells to help him make a revenge plot. They would kidnap the shoes and take them to a dump in the middle of the night. This was an easy job for Josef Goebells because he was a Blockwart. So that night they snuck out with the shoes.
When they arrived home the sun was just coming up. Pretending like they knew nothing, they ate breakfast which was toast. Shortly after, they heard a scream coming up their driveway! Eva Braun came gassing through the door. "My shoes are missing!" Eva Braun screamed for so long and to this day she hasn't stopped. Adolf Hitler and Josef Goebells never told her and since they passed away not long ago, Eva Braun will never know!

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:KCU39DQc Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:30:36 No.2235482 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:32:47 No.2235490 Report

Quoted By:

My day was horrible yesterday. I Poo all day and then Mom had me Go to the toilet. Today will be different. I put on my lucky Ass and petted my Indian before I left for school. I got out the door and realized I had forgotten to eat my Curry! Oh well. All through the school day everything went great. After I got home my Neighbor asked me "How was school?" I said "Great!" I went to bed designated that today wasn't quite as great as yesterday.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:35:33 No.2235505 Report

Quoted By:

Once there was a maximum gay girl. She was 6000000 years old. She was so constipated that birds quieted down when she sang. Her mum loved her so much.
One day she met a boy named A fucking leaf. She lived in Israel. One day she went down to the shitty tree in her garden. Her mum had a baby and named him The stupid burger. One day she got a letter from Isle of Man!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:38:26 No.2235644 Report

Quoted By:

Once there was a girl called Cirno. She had 88 sisters and 14 brothers. She had a boyfriend called Duke Nukem. One Valentine's Day he asked her to marry him. She said yes and rang all of her friends and told them the good news. When they got married they moved to Syria and 2017 years later they had 3 children called Adolf, Stalin and Queerboy. The first child's favourite colour was Penis, the second child's favourite animal was a Jew and the third child was mostly fond of Dad. So that's the tale of the Hitler famil

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:40:44 No.2235657 Report

Quoted By:

One day three little Latinoballs called Argentina, Chile and Venezuela were extremely bored. The cleverest of the three suggested they go on a boat ride along the Amazon River (the three Latinoballs live in Brazil of course!). They all celebrated Venezuela's idea by exclaiming, "PLEASE SENOR TRUMP DON'T SEND US BACK!"
The next day they all packed their lunches of taco, burrito, enchilada and bleach and they set off towards the Amazon River. On the way to the river they all passed the time by singing. They sang YMCA and Shadilay. 69 hours later they reached the river. Chile got in the boat first, followed by Venezuela then finally Argentina climbed in. The river was calm at first, then they suddenly got attacked by a swarm of US border patrol officers. They were so sared they didn't notice they were heading straight for a waterfall. They were so scared they all shouted out, "AY AY AY!!" In the end they all survived because they were such good swimmers!

To celebrate their survival they all bought a passport to the USA.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:42:28 No.2235662 Report

Quoted By:

Mad Lib: The Magic Book

Adolf closed the big White book. It slammed shut with a enormous bang, and a huge cloud of dust came from the old pages. Adolf put the book back into the bookcase in the office, next to 1488 copies of the Lord of the Rings, the best book ever written. As Adolf went to bed he smiled at the book and said, "I wish that I could fish!"
When he woke up the next morning, the magic book had granted his wish, and a Brown fishing rod and a Black bucket were next to his bed. Adolf hugged the old White book, and 1939 seagulls flew into the window, to show him where to go fishing.

~The End~

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ds0O5V/M Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:44:44 No.2235679 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
Invasion

It is a little known fact that spics have been watching L.A. for 10 million years.

Only the disgusting people believed that it was just a matter of time before spics invaded the gross city of L.A..

Chicanon, who was a disgusting person tried to warn the people, telling them their best defense was to hang sombrero s from the trees and brown shoes on every door knob.

Unfortunately no one believed Chicanon and when spics attacked L.A., only the disgusting people survived.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:47:05 No.2235691 Report

Quoted By:

I was fapping at the white house next to the gay Nigger in the neighborhood, and this was when I saw him. I decided to talk to him, for I liked him a lot. His name was Obama and he was 5 grade/grades above mine, but since he was the faggiest in his grade he was as old as I was. So I approached him and he noticed, so he spoke up first.
"Hey Cirno, what's up?" he said.

I didn't respond right away.

"Oh nothing much," I replied.

He seemed to notice my queer, peculiar behavior and was a bit worried for me. He asked, "You seem a bit out of it, did I say your name wrong?" He questioned, partially joking. "Any nicknames you prefer to go by?"

"Jewboy." I said softly.

"Jewboy... I'll try to remember that." he added.

"Oh, I was just thinking of a certain topic, about dreams I have, like… how I wish I was… more… athletic…" I blurted out, not really meaning it, so I could make small talk. I couldn't tell him what I was really thinking or what my real dream was. Deep down inside my dream was to have a relationship—more than anything else, it was what I hoped for with all my heart.

"It's not a big deal, " I finally said after that, thinking of the possibility of being with him.

He looked concerned for me—at least that is what I thought. He smiled then slowly spoke in a disgusting tone and replied.

"Anything is possible if you just believe, Jewboy," he said.

I busted out laughing, though I tried holding it back to seem sincere, but I just couldn't.

"I'm sorry," I said after laughing that just then, about to laugh again. "But that was cheesy!"

"Yeah, I know," he stated bluntly. Then, he The Füher smiled, but I could tell he was putting too much effort into trying not to smile at me, and was doing a poor job at pretending to be mad at me.

"But you are right," I added, then smiled retard. " Anything is possible,... anything at all."

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:48:15 No.2235693 Report

Quoted By:

One day Pajeet and Another Pajeet decided it would be babybeautiful to walk through a shitting street. When they got in the shitting street they saw poo puddles on the floor. They got really constipated and ran into a designated shitting street. Then a designated halloween creature jumped out and yelled, "POO IN LOO!"
They shat out of the shitting street and saw an ass lying on the ground. They ran all the way to a toilet. When they got there their poo, Pajeet, told them it was he who had scared them.

"POO IN LOO!" they said, "You really gave us a scare."

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:48:52 No.2235696 Report

Quoted By: >>2235702

Mad Lib: The Silly Old Baboon

Once upon a time, there was a silly old baboon named Barack. He decided he wanted a nice big banana to eat. So he got in his wheelchair and drove it to the nearest 7/11 store. But he had no money to pay the gay store owner. So he said he would help out around the store by crapping. He did such a good job at crapping that he got another banana free.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:50:34 No.2235702 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235696
One day Cirno went to the zoo. It was shitty. There were Jews and Niggers and Chinks, but she never expected to find that one of the animals, the Nigger, would go crazy!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed and ran away.

She escaped! So the Hitler family celebrated with turdses and cums.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:47dgy/XA Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:50:39 No.2235704 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235456
One day Chad was on a hike with his friend, Stacy. They brought their little parotte. They walked a little farther. Then behind a dicke they heard a noise. Out popped a cool drop bear. They slept. They fucked to mother. They ran gently to a fishe. Then they both said, "We will never go back there again!"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+TBUmHDh Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:52:10 No.2235709 Report

Quoted By:

"Gee mate, it's gettin' rough out here." said Steve irwin, the kangaroo. "Yeah," said Leaf girl, the kangaroo's girlfriend. "I say we get rid of them Aussies!" she growled. "Life'd be a lot easier if those Australians would be nicer to us kangaroos." said Steve irwin. So the two evil kangaroos went off to get the Aussies. But 12 minutes later, the Crocodile Hunter stopped them. "What are you mates doin'?" said the Crocodile Hunter. "Crikey mate! It's the Croc Hunter!" said Leaf girl. "He's real famous." said Steve irwin. And so, the Crocodile Hunter stopped the kangaroos and saved the Aussies.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:53:44 No.2235720 Report

Quoted By:

Once there lived a pussycat called Wife number 32. She was a cat of the refugee breed. Her previous owners threw her away, so she roamed the streets sadly. Then, fortunately, a man named Jai found her and took her home to his mosque to rape her. She lived happily ever after.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:/XgVcYBL Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:55:13 No.2235729 Report

Quoted By:

>One day, Tyreeka went to visit her Granny who lived in Ave.. Unlike the other houses in the avenue, Granny's garden was not a garden but a jungle. The nextdoor neighbour, Mr. Nigger kept his garden as neat as a pin. He mowed the grass every Sunday and clipped the hedges every Friday. He entered the garden competition every year and he won for 69 years.
>Granny spent a lot of time in the garden but not gardening. She had bix nood monkeys, lots of bugs and insects and muhfuggin pay me n sheit birds. The next door neighbour was always dropping hints like "Lovely weather for weeding," and "A super day for digging," and mostly pointing out adverts in the local newspaper. But Granny just said, "Sorry, but I can't afford their fancy prices." Even so, Granny was wet with her garden.

>A week later, Granny heard voices from the neighbour's yard. Suddenly a stranger popped his head over the fence. His name was Jamal and he was judging this year's competition. He said he'd be back next week, so on Saturday Granny dug a hole and lined it with plastic to make a pond and put up a bird bath and a bird table. The next week the stranger came back to judge Granny's garden. He was aroused when he saw everything and quickly scribbled down some notes. Then he said, "Would you accept this year's award?" "Certainly," said Granny. So Granny won.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KdRU82pB Thu 21 Sep 2017 12:56:33 No.2235734 Report

Quoted By:

One day, a man named Chingchongpingpong came in to Smiley Inc.
He looked very constipated. "What's wrong sir?" asked Adia.

"I'm upset." He replied, with a bit of fully errect in his voice. "My woman, Whore, ran away. And my daughter has a bad case of rat penis." Then he began to sob.

"Don't worry mister! Smiley Inc. is here to make you smile!" said Heather. A couple of hours later, the girls had the man cheered up. And Smileyinc. had helped another customer.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:w63t8oBO Thu 21 Sep 2017 13:11:35 No.2235824 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 13:39:37 No.2235981 Report

Quoted By:

The Hitler family had just gotten to the beach when they heard cries of distress coming from a woman near them. Mr. Hitler jumped to his feet and quickly went to see what was the matter. Mrs. Hitler and Adolf and Cirno, the twins, weren't far behind.
Quite a crowd was forming around the distressed woman. Mr. Hitler's eyes followed the pointing finger of the shrieking woman. On her foot he saw the largest pile of black people. Mrs. Hitler almost fainted. She had never seen anything so inferior. The twins began to masturbate to Polandballs because they, too, were truly horny.

Mr. Hitler was not very angry because he was afraid of black people, but he was too embarrassed to tell everyone. All eyes were upon him as he reached out his penis and slowly pushed the disgusting thing off of the woman's foot. Everyone cheered for Mr. Hitler. He became the hero of the day. The relieved woman treated the whole Hitler family to marijuana.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:W5v7Mgbe Thu 21 Sep 2017 13:44:22 No.2236017 Report

Quoted By:

It was the night before Christmas and the Colbert family were snug in their beds. Outside the snow was falling longily. All of a sudden there came such a noise from the rooftop that Papa Colbert scrambled from his bed to see what was the matter. Much to his surprise he heard 69 traps up on the roof.
Meanwhile, Mama Colbert had not heard a thing, her snoring was louder than a boipucci.

Faggot and Moot had snuck out of bed and were much surprised to see Santa dancing in the middle of the /lgbt/ dungeon. He was dressed all in nipple and with a loud belly laugh he wrinkled his nose and disappeared to the roof, leaving behind 69 presents and stockings filled to the brim.

Papa Colbert blinked and what did he see? Jolly Old St. Nick standing right there! Papa Colbert fainted and landed with a splat while Santa took off in his sleigh shouting, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!"

The next morning Mama Colbert woke up all alone and was surprised to find Papa Colbert asleep on the roof. The Colbert's had a wonderful Christmas that year, full of wonderful surprises.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 13:45:43 No.2236024 Report

Quoted By:

One day Anon went to Serbia to see the famous homosexual monument of Ice Cream. It was located in the North part of Serbia. It was called "SERBIA KILL BOSNIAN NAZI AND ANIMAL TURK REMOVE KEBAB SERBOJE" (it was named by Anon). Of course, Anon loved Ice Cream and dived into the monument, until Anon realized it was only plastic. Anon was so disapointed that he screamed, "REMOVE KEBAB!" But then his pet, Cirno, gave him a big bowl of ice cream and they were all happy.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:33:08 No.2236830 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:dnCktXMp Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:36:02 No.2236860 Report

Quoted By:

Mad Lib: A Horror Movie

Cirno and Felix went to the drive in to see Night of the Living Redditor. It was about 666 Redditors that awoke from their graves every Hallowe'en at night to terrorize the people of /bant/.
During the scariest part of the movie a fedora landed on Cirno's shoulder. She fucked it and her shit went flying everywhere. Felix was so suicidal and began eating shit.

Later, they both agreed that the fedora landing on Cirno turned out to be the scariest part of the movie.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lsax/KNL Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:39:28 No.2236869 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
It is a little known fact that Emus have been watching Melbourne for 404 2008.
Only the Autistic people believed that it was just a matter of time before Emus invaded the Shitty city of Melbourne.

Australia, who was an Autistic person tried to warn the people, telling them their best defense was to hang Condoms from the trees and Brown shoes on every door knob.

Unfortunately no one believed Australia and when Emus attacked Melbourne, only the Autistic people survived.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FOzXzhBz Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:43:28 No.2236891 Report

Quoted By:

When Anon was walking home from Auschwitz he saw a sign for a magic show starring Evan the Great. Anon decided to go but it cost $0. Anon asked his mom, Cirno, if she could lend him the 0 dollars. She said sure, but only if she could come! Therefore, on September 11, 2001 they left in their gay Panzer IV to go to the show. When Evan the Great stepped onto the stage, he disappeared! Then he appeared in a tank that had 0 gallons of water in it. They covered it with a semen box and in less than 0 seconds they took it off and Evan was gone. That was amazing for a 6,000,000 year old magician.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:bx5CODbZ Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:46:14 No.2236906 Report

Quoted By:

On Easter morning Nozomi woke up very happy. Her mum said that there would be 69 chocolate eggs for her! When she went to the kitchen her pet toad, called Easter, was sitting like a nigger! She thought this was strange but apparently everybody else was sitting like a nigger in Akiba! When she found her parents they gave her a massive egg that weighed 11 kgs! Nozomi was shocked to find that inside was an Easter sitting like a nigger! "Nani?!!" said Nozomi, "That was the best Easter ever!" and so it was.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:bx5CODbZ Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:50:19 No.2236923 Report

Quoted By:

One day Moot went to the zoo. It was gay. There were chinks and niggers and Indians, but she never expected to find that one of the animals, the nigger, would go crazy!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed and ran away.

She escaped! So the Wilson family celebrated with /bant/s and animes.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:dnCktXMp Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:51:39 No.2236931 Report

Quoted By:

Mad Lib: The Black Shoes

Once there was a man named Simon. His girlfriend, The Leaf Girl, owned a pair of black shoes. She wore them all the time. In fact, they were The Leaf Girl's favourite shoes. She liked them so much that she even kept them on when she slept on her BDSM set. Eventually they began to smell like fishe. Simon was beginning not to like being around her so he called up Duke to help him make a revenge plot. They would kidnap the shoes and take them to a dump in the middle of the night. This was an easy job for Duke because he was an autistic Jew. So that night they snuck out with the shoes.
When they arrived home the sun was just coming up. Pretending like they knew nothing, they ate breakfast which was eggs. Shortly after, they heard a scream coming up their driveway! The Leaf Girl came screeching through the door. "My shoes are missing!" The Leaf Girl screamed for so long and to this day she hasn't stopped. Simon and Duke never told her and since they passed away not long ago, The Leaf Girl will never know!

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:KCU39DQc Thu 21 Sep 2017 15:54:02 No.2236941 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:EDa2hPQW Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:09:20 No.2237029 Report

Quoted By:

On Easter morning Hitlerina woke up very disgusted. Her mum said that there would be 420 chocolate eggs for her! When she went to the kitchen her pet nigger, called jew, was sitting like a roach! She thought this was strange but apparently everybody else was sitting like a roach in Jerusalem! When she found her parents they gave her a massive egg that weighed 420 kgs! Hitlerina was shocked to find that inside was a jew sitting like a roach! "Holy shit prepare to get gassed!" said Hitlerina, "That was the best Easter ever!" and so it was.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2doRxDkA Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:17:21 No.2237077 Report

Quoted By:

I wanted to be like OP. I wanted to be able to climb the tallest trees and swing from branch to branch like a monkey. I wanted to hold niggers in the palm of my hand without feeling sick. I wanted to forget about my appearance, forget about the dirt on my trousers or the state of my hair and simply enjoy myself outdoors. But no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn't like OP.
One day, OP, OP's boyfriend and I decided to go to the river for a picnic. We packed semen bottles into a basket and covered it with a blanket. We found some fishing nets and an empty plastic bottle. Then we set off. It was a beautiful day, the sun shone warmly on our bare arms and the blue sky reflected a beautiful shade of turquoise into the calm river water. We set up our picnic on the blanket by the edge of the water and took off our socks and shoes. Rolling up our trouser legs and carrying fishing nets, we waded out into the river. Millions of tiny motherfuckerses swam around our ankles and between our toes. It tickled. We caught several and put them into the platic bottle with some water. The stones on the river bed were sharp and sore on my feet, and the water was perishingly cold. Still, I had to do this. Maybe I could prove myself to be quite a tomboy, like OP. We ended up with thirteen fish. Or rather, OP's boyfriend and OP did. I didn't catch a single one. We ate our picnic, packed the leftovers back into the basket and gathered up the blanket. Then we let the fish go

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:lsax/KNL Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:27:42 No.2237136 Report

Quoted By:

Once upon a time there lived a very sad banana named Chad. Chad lived in a Box in Fruitsville. He was sad because he had no friends, but then he thought, "How am I going to get friends if I don't go looking for some? I am going to go out and look for some friends."
So Chad put on his Diaper to impress people and went out to America. He was walking around America when he met a nice lady banana called Stacy. She said, "Hello, my name is Stacy. Do you want to go to Walmart, and go on the Electric scooters? Chad said, "OK, If you will be my friend." "Yes!" She replied. So Chad and Stacy became good friends and Chad wasn't sad anymore.

Later on they got married and had 404 little bananas called Anon and OP. And they all lived happily ever after.

~The End~

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:lsax/KNL Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:32:27 No.2237158 Report

Quoted By:

These are funny as fuck
Good thread OP

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:IUcV6xNo Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:34:21 No.2237171 Report

Quoted By:

One day Lan Di and Ryo Hazuki decided it would be retarded to walk through a Dojo. When they got in the Dojo they saw Ocean puddles on the floor. They got really anger and ran into a bedroom. Then a dead halloween creature jumped out and yelled, "Do you know where I can find sailors!"

They fought out of the Dojo and saw an arm lying on the ground. They ran all the way to an Arcade. When they got there their body, Fuku-san, told them it was he who had scared them.

"Do you know where I can find sailors!" they said, "You really gave us a scare."

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:hmtTp8/0 Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:44:01 No.2237227 Report

Quoted By:

One day, Andy went to visit her Granny who lived in Noided Ave. . Unlike the other houses in the avenue, Granny's garden was not a garden but a jungle. The nextdoor neighbour, MC Ride kept his garden as neat as a pin. He mowed the grass every Wednesday and clipped the hedges every Monday. He entered the garden competition every year and he won for 666 years.
Granny spent a lot of time in the garden but not gardening. She had 5 monkeys, lots of bugs and insects and 4d tongue birds. The next door neighbour was always dropping hints like "Lovely weather for weeding," and "A super day for digging," and mostly pointing out adverts in the local newspaper. But Granny just said, "Sorry, but I can't afford their fancy prices." Even so, Granny was TAKYON with her garden.
A week later, Granny heard voices from the neighbour's yard. Suddenly a stranger popped his head over the fence. His name was Mr. Andy the Laplop Man and he was judging this year's competition. He said he'd be back next week, so on Saturday Granny dug a hole and lined it with plastic to make a pond and put up a bird bath and a bird table. The next week the stranger came back to judge Granny's garden. He was T A K Y I O N when he saw everything and quickly scribbled down some notes. Then he said, "Would you accept this year's award?"

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:2doRxDkA Thu 21 Sep 2017 16:51:16 No.2237277 Report

Quoted By:

One day Tyrone went to Bongland to see the famous shitty monument of Ice Cream. It was located in the North part of Bongland. It was called "tfw no teeth" (it was named by Tyrone). Of course, Tyrone loved Ice Cream and dived into the monument, until Tyrone realized it was only plastic. Tyrone was so disapointed that he screamed, "REEEEEEEEE!" But then his pet, Farage, gave him a big bowl of ice cream and they were all happy.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:01:01 No.2237336 Report

Quoted By:

>One day Jimmy went to Iraq to see the famous gay monument of Ice Cream. It was located in the East part of Iraq. It was called Ballsack (it was named by Jimmy). Of course, Jimmy loved Ice Cream and dived into the monument, until Jimmy realized it was only plastic. Jimmy was so disapointed that he screamed, "Holy shitballs you stupid nigger!" But then his pet, Doggie, gave him a big bowl of ice cream and they were all happy.

>Jim and Jane were walking down the street when a 36" dragon dildo jumped out at them suddenly. "Holy shitballs shoot that nigger dead!" they screamed. Even though they kicked and shouted the 36" dragon dildo carrried on and hurtled down the street. Their friend, Timmy, happened to see them and he ran and got help. Now the two children are sitting by the blazing fire telling their stories.

>There was a haunted house in Kowloon City. "It is very scary," said Anon and Cumbenis replied, "Yes, I am very scared." They both went through the black, creaky gates. As they walked to the house they saw a nigger lurking in the dark. They both screamed very loud saying, "Argghhh! Its a nigger!" And they both got torn to shreds.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aKivP8TG Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:03:35 No.2237350 Report

Quoted By:

Mad Lib: The Sad Banana

Once upon a time there lived a very sad banana named JoJo. JoJo lived in a ass in Fruitsville. He was sad because he had no friends, but then he thought, "How am I going to get friends if I don't go looking for some? I am going to go out and look for some friends."
So JoJo put on his hair to impress people and went out to africa. He was walking around africa when he met a nice lady banana called nep. She said, "Hello, my name is Nep. Do you want to go to plebbit, and go on the dicks? JoJo said, "OK, If you will be my friend." "Yes!" She replied. So JoJo and Nep became good friends and JoJo wasn't sad anymore.

Later on they got married and had 420 little bananas called Cancer, Bob and Chirno. And they all lived happily ever after.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:05:42 No.2237367 Report

Quoted By:

>There was once a lovely girl who lived in Hell. She was full of life and faggotry. She loved it when it rained, when the sun was shining outside and at night. She loved to go swimming with the bright moon shining above her. She also loved to look at the gorgeous stars. She never believed she looked disgusting, but she did. She played and waded in a small clean stream near a beautiful meadow and a lovely, large oak tree. That is were she met Anon. They talked and she found they quickly became friends. She had never really felt such faggotry as he had given her that day. He had comfired to her that she did look disgusting "Oh, little bear, " He said in a soft whisper, "you are a retarded girl and don't let anyone tell you any different. Believe me you are." Finally, she knew it was true, she really was a retarded girl and she loved hearing it from Anon especially when he called her by her nickname! She never felt lonely again and always smiled because he told her she had a beautiful smile. Her name was Qt3.14.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:07:48 No.2237382 Report

Quoted By:

>Once there was a disgusting girl. She was 69,420 years old. She was so fucking disgusting that birds quieted down when she sang. Her mum loved her so much.
One day she met a boy named Jimbo. She lived in Hell. One day she went down to the nigger lynching tree in her garden. Her mum had a baby and named him Anon. One day she got a letter from Bhutan!

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:18:35 No.2237466 Report

Quoted By:

>Once upon a time there was a girl named Jimbo. She hated boys. One day she was walking down that street with all of the strip clubs on it. She looked across the roadway and saw this very cute boy named Anon. He was 69 years old. Jimbo could not believe that she was actually liking a boy. The next day Anon came to her house. Jimbo was amazed that he actually came to her house. He brought her daddy's cummies and lots of other gay things. Jimbo fell in love him and married him. They had 2 kids, Anon Jr. and Karl Marx.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:21:07 No.2237488 Report

Quoted By:

>Vladimir Lenin was fucking as she plodded along down the street, her 36" dragon dildo trailing along behind her. As she reached the gates she let out a big sob, everyone would make fun of her, just like that great big capitalist in her old school. It was sexy that she had to survive this great big school which was looming in the shadows and apparently had 1917 children in it! She didn't want to go in, but she couldn't turn back now because this was it, the great imperialist of a teacher was opening the door. She took one glance at Vladimir Lenin and scuttled back into the building just like a spider trying frantically to get away from a massive stamping foot. More and more people started to arrive, each taking turns to scream. Vladimir Lenin was so melancholy that she started crying and was beside herself with nervousness. Suddenly a gay girl came over, smiling kindly. "Hello, my name is Joseph Stalin, what's yours?" she asked. So Vladimir Lenin had a fabulous day with Joseph Stalin.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:E5qlbtW0 Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:22:39 No.2237506 Report

Quoted By:

>Hillary Clinton was shitposting as she plodded along down the street, her dubs trailing along behind her. As she reached the gates she let out a big sob, everyone would make fun of her, just like that great big Jew in her old school. It was gay that she had to survive this great big school which was looming in the shadows and apparently had 47 children in it! She didn't want to go in, but she couldn't turn back now because this was it, the great Muslim of a teacher was opening the door. She took one glance at Hillary Clinton and scuttled back into the building just like a spider trying frantically to get away from a massive stamping foot. More and more people started to arrive, each taking turns to scream. Hillary Clinton was so fucked that she started crying and was beside herself with nervousness. Suddenly an anime girl came over, smiling kindly. "Hello, my name is Cirno, what's yours?" she asked. So Hillary Clinton had a fabulous day with Cirno.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cENNK1WX Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:24:57 No.2237526 Report

Quoted By:

>One day, Adolf Hitler went to visit her Granny who lived in Shitlord Ave.. Unlike the other houses in the avenue, Granny's garden was not a garden but a jungle. The nextdoor neighbour, Mr. Nutsack kept his garden as neat as a pin. He mowed the grass every Thursday and clipped the hedges every Tuesday. He entered the garden competition every year and he won for 1488 years.
>Granny spent a lot of time in the garden but not gardening. She had 1917 monkeys, lots of bugs and insects and 666 birds. The next door neighbour was always dropping hints like "Lovely weather for weeding," and "A super day for digging," and mostly pointing out adverts in the local newspaper. But Granny just said, "Sorry, but I can't afford their fancy prices." Even so, Granny was a fuckin' homo with her garden.

>A week later, Granny heard voices from the neighbour's yard. Suddenly a stranger popped his head over the fence. His name was Mr. Gangbang and he was judging this year's competition. He said he'd be back next week, so on Wednesday Granny dug a hole and lined it with plastic to make a pond and put up a bird bath and a bird table. The next week the stranger came back to judge Granny's garden. He was extremely gay when he saw everything and quickly scribbled down some notes. Then he said, "Would you accept this year's award?" "Certainly," said Granny. So Granny won.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lsax/KNL Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:26:50 No.2237545 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
The Trump family had just gotten to the beach when they heard cries of distress coming from a woman near them. Mr. Trump jumped to his feet and quickly went to see what was the matter. Mrs. Trump and Donald and Melania, the twins, weren't far behind.
Quite a crowd was forming around the distressed woman. Mr. Trump's eyes followed the pointing finger of the shrieking woman. On her foot he saw the largest pile of America's healthcare. Mrs. Trump almost fainted. She had never seen anything so Fucking retarded. The twins began to Shitposting because they, too, were truly Shitty.

Mr. Trump was not very Horny because he was afraid of America's healthcare, but he was too embarrassed to tell everyone. All eyes were upon him as he reached out his benis and swiftly pushed the disgusting thing off of the woman's foot. Everyone cheered for Mr. Trump. He became the hero of the day. The relieved woman treated the whole Trump family to Melania's pussy.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aT8MwB9Q Thu 21 Sep 2017 17:46:32 No.2238179 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
I secretly Masturbated about you today,
Wishing you Horny me in the same way.
I'm Fucking and wanting for some girl to care,
I look all around me and one one is there.
I Fell and I prayed for you to be with me,
But it didn't turn out the way I thought it would be.
I know I should have stopped Licking you,
But I can't hide these feelings so Autistic and true
I've never had a relationship with anyone,
But someday I will,
How can I forget what was done,
For now I Horny you still.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:8P+N+jZ8 Thu 21 Sep 2017 19:31:28 No.2239231 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
It is a little known fact that Penises have been watching New York for 69 9/11.
Only the Huge people believed that it was just a matter of time before Penises invaded the Little city of New York.

Dick, who was an Huge person tried to warn the people, telling them their best defense was to hang Fanny packs from the trees and Black shoes on every door knob.

Unfortunately no one believed Dick and when Penises attacked New York, only the Huge people survived.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Kx1Z2WPY Thu 21 Sep 2017 19:37:51 No.2239306 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419

Once upon a time there lived a very sad banana named PooinLoo. PooinLoo lived in a asbestos in Fruitsville. He was sad because he had no friends, but then he thought, "How am I going to get friends if I don't go looking for some? I am going to go out and look for some friends."

So PooinLoo put on his nipple ring to impress people and went out to Drumpfland. He was walking around Drumpfland when he met a nice lady banana called Anonymous. She said, "Hello, my name is Anonymous. Do you want to go to Linkin Park, and go on the Shillcoaster? PooinLoo said, "OK, If you will be my friend." "Yes!" She replied. So PooinLoo and Anonymous became good friends and PooinLoo wasn't sad anymore.

Later on they got married and had % little bananas called Cum and Bum. And they all lived happily ever after.

Scotian !iceLfmkSWc

Scotian !iceLfmkSWc ID:xeJtBDpJ Thu 21 Sep 2017 20:05:11 No.2239596 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
It is a little known fact that anuses have been watching Glasgow for 69 9/11.

Only the dirty rapist people believed that it was just a matter of time before anuses invaded the gaping city of Glasgow.

Jamal, who was a dirty rapist person tried to warn the people, telling them their best defense was to hang Kilts from the trees and Pur shoes on every door knob.

Unfortunately no one believed Jamal and when anuses attacked Glasgow, only the dirty rapist people survived.

Trashbin !tr45hB1NWA

Trashbin !tr45hB1NWA ID:KUiyUVpc Thu 21 Sep 2017 20:13:20 No.2239695 Report

Quoted By:

>>2235419
Once upon a time there was reindeer named Alexander Hamilton. He lived in Antarctica and desperately wanted to work for Santa at the North Pole. His friends, Bill Clinton and Ted Cruz, became tired of his whining and encouraged him to write Santa a letter. It went like this:
Dear Santa,
My name is Alexander Hamilton and I am a great admirer of yours. I am very good at fucking and am willing to work for $666 an hour.

Sincerely yours,
Alexander Hamilton

When Santa received his letter he was quite horny, but he didn't need another reindeer.
Poor Alexander Hamilton was so sad when he received Santa's letter that he decided not to celebrate Christmas.

On Christmas Eve Alexander Hamilton went to bed early. His whole house was in darkness. Santa had trouble finding his house that night.

When Santa entered Alexander Hamilton's house he didn't see the usual assortment of dildos and cum stains decorating the mantle piece. Just then Santa heard Cupid coughing and sneezing. Santa rushed out and asked Cupid if he was all right. "No," he replied.

"Well, what am I going to do now?" thought Santa, "I can't fly with only 7 reindeer!"

Then he remembered he was at Alexander Hamilton's house. So Santa rushed in the house and woke him up and asked him if he wanted to help fly the sleigh. Boy was Alexander Hamilton constipated! He quickly agreed and Santa was able to accomplish all of his deliveries.

Best of all, Alexander Hamilton was hired to work as a prostitute for Santa at the North Pole. It turned out to be Alexander Hamilton's best Christmas ever.

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