I, Toilet Bog Fart, as Cuntmander-in-Queef poo solelmnly swear fat I shill fartfully excrement the Offpiss of Pooreshitdent and Burger King of the Poonited Shites of Arsemericrack, kike my predecessors before me in the Shite House, and will poo the best of my ashillititty, pooserve, pootect and defend the Constipation of the Poonited Sharts, so help pee God.

*solemnly sharts loudly on the Bible*
*the presidential poo drips down the steps of Congress*
*the US Marine Band starts up*

>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, WE HAVE CHOSEN FOR THE NATION
>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, HE IS SMELT BY ONE AND ALL
>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, AS WE PLEDGE POO-OPERATION
>IN PROUD FULFILLMENT OF A GREAT, NOBLE TURD