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I was put on SSRIs as a kid, you know, all these fucked up pills for all this messed up shit, most of which I didn't even have, right? Um, the only thing I had was a tick disorder. That was it. Everything else was bullshit. I did not have it, right?
Um, and I still to this day think that I might be affected by them. I think my brain might be a little bit mangled by them. I'm not like, wo- like, I'm not fucking crazy, right? But I do think that I was given these things at a time where my brain was developing, and it probably developed my brain in a way that it was not meant to, right?
Um, uh, I legit think that it was more harmful to my brain, to my brain, than any and all head trauma that I took throughout my entire MMA career up to this point, you know? Um, and not only that, but it also had an effect on my body, you know? I have gynecomastia, right? It's small, you can notice it, but it is kind of on the tough side to notice, right? Um, you know, right now I'm overweight so I do kind of, you know, I got a little bit more up here, right?
But um, like it makes me wonder, like, could I have been a couple inches taller, you know? Um, could, like, like, is my thought process, is the way I look at things a little bit warped? Is it, you know? I like to think that through years of me working to make sure that I'm fucking sane, that I have a good head on my shoulders, but could I have a better head on my shoulders? Could I have avoided a lot of shit that occurred because these things made me all fucked up, you know?
You can't get psychiatrists that don't want to give them to you, you know? Their answer to everything is 'Oh, give them, give them the pills, give them the pills.' It's not, it's not that life is undignified and there's nothing really there for people to live for, and we need to change a lot of things about what's going on in the world today, and we need to treat people with a little bit more respect. No, no, no, you, just need to take the pills, you know?
