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Coffee makes you fat, weak, and retarded

No.22654590 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Have you seen the memes about needing to poop as soon as you have some coffee?
It's more than just a joke. Your body is reacting instantly to the coffee and working to expel it, and normies just laugh it off.
>increases the movement of your digestive system so food moves through faster
>food moves too quickly through, not allowing the hard-to-get nutrients to absorb effectively
>Your body starts lacking in micronutrients, makes you hungry for more food
>overeat, brain doesn't function as well as a result

I was diagnosed with IBS a few months ago and quit coffee as it's an irritant. Hey presto, more energy, thinking more clearly, poop only once every 2-3 days like I did when I was a teen and much healthier. I guess the consumption of coffee and the rise of chronic illnesses and general malaise of the population can be correlated.