the passage of time ruined everything. i used to think i had more of it but now i don’t want to do anything. i can’t. i’m just going to die like everyone else and that makes everything feel kind of pointless. i wanted to be important but i’m not and i won’t be. nobody will remember me and i’ve started to think that’s fine. i’m not ready for anything but i feel like i should just get it over with. i thought i could stay dependent forever. Thought i didn’t have to grow out of it. but i do. and it’s happening whether i’m ready or not. i’ve decided i want to preserve myself and be IMMORTAL. so i’m uploading my face as much as possible. ON EVERY PLATFORM. I don’t want to be anyone else. i want to be me again and again. if i get born again i want it to be the same. same life same parents. People see me and think i’m some pale little victorian boy or something. i’m not. i just look like that. i’m androgynous. I don’t want sex either. it’s meaningless. i’ve never looked at someone and felt like i had to pass on my genes or whatever. it’s just not something i relate to. Jeffrey elstein figured out immortality a long time ago but didn’t tell anyone because the value of being eternal drops the second it becomes public knowledge. immortality only works if you’re the only one who has it. he didn’t want attention. he wanted permanence. he didn’t care about power just the removal of decay.