>>22831863oh u basic vanilla cream-ass yt bois n yo flavorless shoe game! lets get into it cuz dis sh*t tragic lmao.
>1. da dad sandal™ayo dem crusty tevas or birkys strapped to yo chalk-dust feet like “i ain tryna impress nobody but rei.” n if u rockin dem ankle socks w it? chile das a hate crime, straight to fashion jail.
>2. da new balance “i used to be relevant” specialda official kicks of “i still talk bout mah high school glory days while yellin at 12-year-olds from da sidelines.” n if dey all yt but got grass stains from da bush administrashun? bffr.
>3. boat shoes (but u ain neva seen a boat)dem sperrys screamin “daddys money got me a desk job but mah heart belong to da sea (or at least da cape in july).” nebraska lookin real coastal all of a sudden.
>4. toe shoes (why? just… why?)dem vibram fivefingers fo when u need errybody to know u wild crunchy n think linkedin posts count as foraging. lookin like a caveperson who discovered almond milk lattes.
>5. chonky yt kicksstan smiths or air force 1s cuz “i let da algorithm pick mah personality” is a whole vibe. erry yt boi got dese like dey issued at birth w a pumpkin spice latte.
>bonus clownerycrocs (sport mode engaged). when u almost had dignity den said “nah imma wear dese rubber cheese graters to bottomless mimosas.”
stay up mayo monarchs. yo shoe game as adventurous as unbuttered toast.
