Quoted By:
Our politically correct culture won't tell you about the horrors that Bitch has in store for you, but I will. For those of you who like to eat dessert before soup, my conclusion at the end of this letter is going to be that I love hearing the claims of an illiberal scatterbrain who doesn't realize that it's an illiberal scatterbrain. As a case in point, consider Bitch's claim that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. Such claims always make me laugh because, as we all know, Bitch is out to teach the next generation how to hate—and whom to hate. And when we play its game, we become accomplices.
Given a choice of having Bitch rip off everyone and his brother or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Every unbalanced pronk must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag of escapism, and begin to clear-cut ancient forest lands. That's sufficient evidence for me, at least, to conclude that Bitch markets its snow jobs as helpful and entertaining. In reality, they're a a hellish nightmare from which we may never awaken.
Bitch hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that there'll always be some unconscionable grammaticaster who's eager to complain about my use of English in this letter. He'll probably tell me that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word “atrabilious” when writing, “Bitch is an atrabilious bezonian.” Well, the fact is that Bitch is an atrabilious bezonian, and there is no place in this country where we are safe from its spin doctors, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. If Bitch gets its way, I might very well crawl under a rock and die. Currently, Bitch lacks the clout to initiate a reign of unpleasant terror. But in the near future, it will have enough trucklers to attack my character.
