I'm having an operation to be an ostrich. It should all be completed by the end of next year. From that point I will be strutting around public toilets at night. I'm having my arms amputated, feathers glued into my body, silicone implants and tattooing on my feet and legs and a beak grafting to my face. All the operations will be carried out by surgeons in asia and south america. Look out for me. I will be offering various services. Which public toilets and laybys do you recommend?
