>>23133644Maybe? Idk
https://www.thegbfoods.com/brands/liebig/My bath was terrible. I hoped to relax and find some rest but all I could think about was how killing myself would go.
The two ways that I envision today are either drowning myself at the bottom of some river (the preferred way so I can die suffering as I deserve) or just hanging myself somewhere in the forest or in some abandoned building.
I can picture myself walking along the river at night, wearing some light white clothing, pushing a platform cart with cinderblocks on it, with my neck, wrists and ankles tied to them by chains. Walking far away from my car, going to the deep spot I'd have located on the map. Anticipating the moment I throw myself to my death, no longer thinking straight.
I would arrive at the spot where the final decision would have to be made. Thinking about my despicable life. Thinking of loved ones I failed. Thinking of how weak I am, finally giving up on it all. I'd probably have a mental breakdown, crying like a stupid bitch, vomitting out of fear for what I'm about to do. Thinking of the disgusting piece of trash I am for even thinking of going this way.
I would stare at the starry sky, at this huge universe we don't comprehend and that doesn't care in the slightest of our insignificant minds. My world would end here, but everything will carry on. Everyone will keep living their lives, trying to make the best out of tit, fueled by some sparks of hope and love here and there despite the hardships, growing and maturing as they learn from their mistakes, regretting the opportunities they missed, the paths they could have chosen, while I chose to sit down on the side of the road, watching them go on as I sit still forever.
My mind would finally accept my (French) surrender. And, at this point, as all of my failures rush through my mind, I would either crumble like a coward and just stay still, unable to commit,
or...
