>>23242191life doesnt feel complete without drugs anymore, but i quit a year ago completely because i got unlucky with the genetic lottery so my body rejects most substances
to get around that, i've been trying to find ways to awaken my consciousness enough to feel things that should only be possible to feel with drugs normally
i've had mixed results, I know how to reliably give myself a massive dopamine rush that lasts for all of a few seconds but it takes maybe 2-4 hours to get there, i've meditated enough to feel as though i was on the brink of something big but could never break through, and i've been trying to lucid dream to perfectly recreate the trips i've had before but had no success
and its funny, because sometimes in a dream i'll somehow instinctually just "know" i'm asleep and dreaming but i'm so swept up by the current of my dreams that i can't even notice an opportunity to escape or lucid dream
