The last two days I’ve contemplated, again, trying to have a relationships with a woman so that I can assuage the loneliness that accompanies … well … being alone. And upon contemplating it, I was not happy for those two days.

There were moments of happiness in the contemplation, because I was not alone. But considering what one must give up in order to have an orthodox relationship with another is something that I now choose not to do.

In order to have a meaningful and lasting relationship one must give up free will.

With what I know and what I’ve been through during my life, I know that normal intimate relationships are not for me, including friendships, family ties, and the worldly relationships that are needed in the pursuit of money (business relationships).

Truly, for me, this is a LONE AND DREARY WORLD. But I refuse to let Lucifer answer my prayers! I refuse to work for Lucifer and receive pay for being in Lucifer’s employ! (For those with eyes that see and ears that hear.)

As I have announced in previous posts, the only relationships that I am continuing from my past are those with the children and grandchildren who choose to remain a part of my life. In my view, the children that came from past relationships are innocent. They did not choose (as far as this world’s thinking is concerned, which is their thinking) to be my child. I chose to have sex with their mothers knowing full well that the act might end in the creation of a child. My children, if they so choose and remain respectful of me, will always be a part of my life. But if any of them is disrespectful and causes undue emotional burden on me, I will not stay in that one’s life.