when i start to feel overwhelmed by all the things going wrong in my life i just grab my gun and remind myself it's okay i can always end it instantly and painlessly any time if it gets too bad so there's no reason to stress so much, it calms me down right away from panicking and anxious back to just the normal, bearable, mild depression.

I call them healthy suicidal ideations, they aid my mental health. Anyone else do this? I bet therapists would think it's a bad thing, as if all people fit in their narrow little boxes.

Obviously it's a bad thing if you're likely to actually do it but I do think for a minority of people these are good.