My mind has been stuck between a romantic past and an idealized future for days. I can't stop feeling trapped in this shit hole where I'm invisible to 99% of women. It keeps rewinding my memories of my ex, our dates, the anime we watched together. I could have fixed her and we could have been together if it wasn't for her egoism. I can't look at w*men from my country straight in the face without desiring to rape and murder them. I know I'm just a spittle to them, I'm no one, I'm invisible. Talking to Japanese girls who appreciate me made me change my mind, I'm mindbroken. I want to move overseas to teach English and get a cute gf.