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Fuck me, it's so hard for me to grind. I want to just concentrate and work on my Batman RPG project and not do anything else, but it's always been like this with anything I want to do, I can't be sedentary all day, I try to sit and just accept my feelings and let them pass over me, but they completely take control of me and they are like strong physical sensations, I get strong urges to go outside and move around a lot and exercise, to be outside. These are probably very normal things, but of course I have to be cursed and not fully domesticated I am a little wild or something inside. It's more than inside, I guess. I can't just go and sit inside all day at a desk or be inside in the dark all day, I can't just go for 15 hours a day nonstop like I want to, I have to basically take myself for a walk, get some sunshine, freshair and exercise. Which takes up a lot of time or I can't focus. But it all takes up a lot of time.
It also separates me from most people I've ever known, I have not met that many people who have had these same urges and needs very often.