>>23853631>Maybe if you clean your act up someone with money might want to fuck you some day.nonny you conflate sexual value and money
ive gotten a lot of stuff paid for (mostly food), i kinda ghosted those people or pushed them away after a while and it was always the same, theyd get sad and try to get me to come back cause they thought having given me all that money that i would stay
idk if thats a cruel confession,im pretty sure ive lead some people on pretty bad by accepting their money before so now i just reject gifts if it seems like theyre expecting something in return
in my first relationship i was given a gift around 400 dollars in total for my birthday, a really nice fountain pen for calligraphy with a gold tip and really expensive ink to pair. and i remember feeling really gross about it because it was a gift for his ego and not for me, i told him i liked to draw, and i couldnt draw with it well at all and my favorite thing to draw with was felt tip fine liners (at the time), i ended up giving it to [my friend at the time a bit after we were no longer in a relationship cause she thought it was really cool.
. ive never been paid to have sex, just send nudes and flirt and stuff but i still feel like a gross low hooker unworthy of real love for it. the 100s of dollars spent on junk food and clothes and trinkets has never made me feel better. ive even gotten money for my art before and desu i hated that too, i got a bank account to actually do legit comms a while ago and i did one and fucked off despite my other commissioners coming back to see if i was going to be active. T~T
its always a friend or family whos made me felt better in the end, and who has encouraged me to clean my room .
TLDR: i was a dirty money whore already online and i didnt like it
idk if this is all banter or youre tvrying to get a rise out of me or something vbut i hope you are able to find peace beyond materialism cause gold and dirt are worth the same when youre old and lonely
