>>23988572well I don't know, it is possible to get better to some extent, but you're not really supposed to have a chip on your shoulder or hold a grudge like I do I guess, but I can't really help it. I've spent lots of time, doing a lot of deep thinking and introspection towards what's going on beneath the surface for me, I have also practiced mindfulness and being aware of my own thought processes. So I am pretty in control of myself I guess to an extent, but I guess I just accept my nature. I am aware of, and accept that I have a nature, unlike how it seems like most people just ignore that entirely, either that or are completely ruled by it.
I don't exactly believe in tranquility or I guess "peace" anymore, I used to be really confused when I was younger, I wanted an answer as to why there was so much conflict in the world. But I guess with peace it requires some level of detachment, and I don't really agree with, you're not really supposed to get emotional or passionate because that leads to attachment, but I don't give a fuck. I don't know then what it is that I seek, I don't know if it's good at all, or if I am on a path to wickedness.